Flames All Around Me
by Eternal Grey
Summary: Sora loves Axel but he's taken by Roxas. When Roxas is forced to join himself with Sora, Axel becomes a part of his life. Is Axel sticking around for him or for Roxas? When he loves the flames that threaten to consume him, all he can do is let it burn...
1. Chapter 1

**Brand new fic… blame photobucket**

I glanced over at Axel and Roxas. They're too good together. It hurt to watch them go on and on and on about their love on a daily basis. Roxas and I look alike sure but not enough to pass off as one another, especially to a lover. Axel smirked and captured Roxas's lips in his. I watched for a moment longer then turned away to go.

"You didn't enjoy the show?" Roxas teased me as I left. I could feel Riku's hand on my wrist but I thrust my arm away from him and continued walking. Everyone knows I have a slight thing for Axel. The guy is amazingly hot. No one can resist him… not even the key blade bearers.

"You should shut up sometimes." Axel sighed making me a little happy but I controlled myself enough to keep it at a minimum. It doesn't matter, as long as Roxas is here then I'll never get my chance. I felt tears fill my eyes but I blinked them away angrily. There's no way I'm showing pain in front of these freaks.

That night… I found out that Roxas is going to become a part of me and then… who knows what's going to happen. I stared out the window and scowled. Even if Roxas becomes a part of me… and Axel pursues me because of it. Axel won't love _me_ he'll love the _Roxas _within me.

Riku was smirking. He was happy for me because of this predicament. Apparently Roxas already knows I'm not complete without him. I wonder if he cares… and I wonder how many times Axel and him are going to make love until they finally let the other go.

I crawled into my bed and slept. My dreams were full of visions of me looking in the mirror and seeing Roxas. Then I had dreams of me being stuck inside him unable to do anything or let anyone know I was there. In the end I had a dream where Axel kissed me deeply and said, "I love you Roxas."

When I woke up, the only one there was Riku. I could hear the others downstairs talking silently. I snuck down and listened to them. Leon and Yuffie were arguing. I sat down on the stairs just above where they were and listened with my hands flat on the hard wooden stairs.

"Roxas doesn't want to go through with it." Leon's grave voice said softly.

"But doesn't he understand that Sora _needs_ this?!" Yuffie shouted angrily.

"If he becomes a part of Sora then in the end Sora will be the one who gets Axel. Roxas can't stand the thought of losing." Leon murmured.

"Everyone knows that Sora likes Axel. Why can't Roxas just let the boy be happy with Axel?!" Yuffie growled softly.

"In the end… Roxas is going to win. Axel will only be with Sora to get to the Roxas within him." Leon smirked bitterly. Yuffie scowled and slammed her fist into the table.

"This is just so _pointless_!" She cried. I felt a sharp pain in my fingers realizing I was digging my nails into the wood and splinters were finding their way into my fingertips. I heard something hitting my window making me get up quickly. There's something else I can do I guess… other than listening to my own thoughts being confirmed and spoken with my friends.

I got to the window and realized someone was throwing good sized rocks at it. Obviously a failed romantic thinking this is the same thing as throwing pebbles. Stupid moron probably doesn't realize they're going to break my window soon. I opened the window only to receive one hit to the face and an amused laugh.

"Hey Sora…" Axel laughed in a hushed whispered down on the ground. I was slightly impressed that he was able to throw the rocks at my window up the three stories I'm at. Sweet arm. "Come on down!" He smirked motioning for me to come to him. I glanced at him with a soft smile.

On the night before Roxas comes into me Axel decides to see _me_ instead of making love to Roxas. I opened the window and glanced back at the sleeping Riku. No one needs to know what's going on right now. I prepared to jump out the window making Axel's eyes widen then he glowered and held out his arms to catch me.

I smirked at him. I don't need someone to try to catch me. I'm fine on my own. I jumped down preparing to land on my feet like normal but Axel lunged forward to catch me, forcing us both to crash to the ground. We both sat up making me realize I was in Axel's lap. I glared at him to hide my embarrassment. "Dumbass, I could have been fine doing this on my own!" I growled.

I realized something sad then. The reason why Axel lunged to help me was probably to help keep Roxas's vessel safe. My eyes widened at this realization and tears filled them. What am I going to do now?! Instantly Axel kissed my forehead.

"You idiot! I was worried about you. Got it memorized?" Axel whispered into my face. I looked up at him and felt a blush rise to my cheeks. I wouldn't be surprised if Roxas was hiding somewhere getting this on video so he could use it to make fun of me later.

"Why did you come here?" I asked knowing how much he loved his 'got it memorized' line. Most people get tired of it but I like to try to memorize it. It's just a dorky game I made for myself. I looked at his fiery hair and piercing light green eyes. This man is the only one whose ever been able to shut me up by his beauty alone.

"I came here to get to know you a bit, just you so that I can tell the difference between you and Roxas. Got is memorized?" He said with a smirk. I looked at him with a blank face and tried not to show any emotions. All the pain within me felt like it would explode but I just put on a plastic smile and looked at him mischievously.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked him with another big grin. He looked a bit taken back but Axel instantly stood up taking my hand he smirked. Instantly he dragged me off in the direction of Tifa's bar. I smiled knowing that I haven't been there in a while. Mainly because I'm a minor so I can't just pop open a whiskey and start talking and fighting like everyone else.

When we entered the bar I was surprised to see Cloud sitting at the bar talking with her. My eyes widened when he smiled. Cloud doesn't show much emotion to anyone but here he is hanging out with Tifa like a normal person. "Hey Cloud, hey Tifa." I smiled and began to walk over to them but Axel wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to the booths.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked me with a sly smile. I looked at him for a moment and began to think… what should I get. Well if I order a hot chocolate then he'll think I'm a kid. I smiled then thinking of the perfect drink.

"A white chocolate hot chocolate, please!" I grinned and took out my wallet. He looked at me with a look of surprise then a perverted smile covered his lips.

"I'm paying, and you're lucky I've got a thing for the cute and innocent." He smirked and walked up to Tifa. I could hear him order a beer and then my drink making Cloud snicker and Tifa just smile and get to work on the orders. Once Axel got our drinks he headed back over to me with his normal sly smile and bright eyes full of interest.

I took a sip of my drink and sighed in content. I love white hot chocolates. Instantly Axel traded our drinks and tried it out. I watched him for a moment then took a sip of the beer. It had a bitter and stale taste to it but I found out that I liked it. Axel wound up drinking half of mine then laughed when I asked if he wanted to get one.

"No… I could never be seen acting like an innocent kid like you." He teased and poked my cheek. I glared at him and angrily sipped my hot chocolate. My cheeks turned a slight shade of red as I thought about how I just put my lips where he had put his. Axel didn't seem to notice as he gazed out the window sipping his beer.

Instantly his legs wrapped around mine from under the table. It didn't even look like he noticed it but I found myself enjoying the touch. I want this to last forever. Suddenly I gasped and stood up looking at the guy in shock. "Isn't this like your cheating on Roxas?!" I cried making him look at me.

He opened his mouth to say something then ran a hand through his hair. I could tell he was taking it back. "Yea I guess it is. Sorry Sora but it looks like things aren't going as planned. I have to go." Axel said in a soft tone and stood up, not looking at me once.

My whole body filled with desperation. He's leaving! He can't leave yet! Why did I have to open my big mouth?! I grabbed onto his arm and looked up at him bitterly with regret filling my eyes. "I had a lot of fun tonight." I said softly making him look down at me bitterly but with a soft smile on his face.

"Me too, kid. Me too." He answered and walked off into the night. I watched him for a moment then closed my eyes feeling the pain of his absence fill me. This is just a little crush… so why am I this upset over it?

I walked through the front doors of Merlin's house making Leon and Yuffie rush towards me in worry. I didn't listen to a thing they said and just walked up to my room feeling as though life was nonexistent at the moment. It's probably just because I'm tired… and that our fun night together ended so quickly.

When I got to my room, Riku was awake. I ignored him and crawled into my bed. He went in with me and stroked my hair laying down beside me. I didn't want to talk or even think. The only thing I wanted was to dream as many fantasies as possible of this night.

Because when I wake up… reality is going to be so cruel…

I walked into Namine's room the next day feeling a little scared. Riku, Leon, Cloud, Yuffie, and Tifa were all here cheering me on while Roxas only had Axel. The boy glared at me and glanced back at his lover who had no expression, just folded arms against his chest.

"All you have to do is walk into him, Roxas. After you do then I'll be forced to do the same with Kairi." Namine informed him and sat there with her sketchbook on the ground beside her feet. I could see a tint of sadness in her eyes knowing that this is the end.

Roxas smirked and walked up to me but just before he would enter my very being, the boy stopped. "When Axel comes again and pretends to love you… just remember that he's saying that to the _me_ inside you." He smirked and entered my being.

Instantly I fell back, expecting to fall to the ground, but Axel caught me and thrust me up so I was standing tall again. I looked up at him and sighed knowing that he was seeing Roxas…

not me.


	2. Chapter 2

I began to head back to Merlin's place but Axel was right behind me. With his long legs I knew he would be able to catch up to me no matter what pace I set. I scowled at the ground not wanting him to anywhere near me right now. In fact, I don't want to see him ever again.

"Why are you walking away so fast? Aren't we friends?" Axel teased walking right beside me as I scowled and kept rushing forward. I don't want to have to be the one to tell him that I'm _not_ Roxas. Just because his lover entered my body doesn't mean we're the same people. If I tell him this… will he leave me and never come back?

I'm such a hypocrite. I want him to go but I refuse to say the one thing that _will_ make him leave. "We aren't friends. We just hung out once. That doesn't qualify as a friendship. More like acquaintances." I grumbled making him take my hand and pull me closer to him.

"Then I guess that means we should hang out a bit more." He smirked and led me to a nearby park. I looked at him in complete shock for a moment. There's no way he's sincere about this. I followed him grudgingly not really wanting to fall for him even deeper than I have. To my surprise he was leading me to the organization thirteen's castle.

I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me. Is this his plan? Kidnap me then try and force the Roxas within to come out and be in the organization once more?! I reached my hand back and started shouting for Riku or anyone else to save me. Instantly Axel covered my mouth with his hand and kept me quiet as he dragged me up the castle steps.

"I'm keeping you here until we become friends, and trust me… if you immediately say we're friends then you're staying here longer. I'll decide when I think we are." Axel grinned and held me closer than before. I scowled to myself but stopped struggling. I guess… it'll be okay to indulge in him a bit.

"This is called kidnapping." I informed him when he finally removed his hand from my mouth. He just shrugged and opened the castle doors. I was shocked at all the grey and the plain décor of the castle. Nothing looked… human. But I guess that's just fine since these guys are Nobodies after all.

He led me up the stairs and thrust me into a room at the end of the first hall. The walls were covered in pictures of flames and things catching on fire. For a moment I thought the fire on the walls was moving but it was just the effect of a good artist.

"This is your room." I stated knowing it was true. The one thing that's hard to forget about Axel is the fact that he puts the work pyro in the kiddy pool compared to how majorly obsessed he is. He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes as though he was waiting for something. I looked away bitterly knowing he was waiting for a reaction Roxas would give. "I want to go home." I muttered.

He looked up then with a look of shock on his face. I knew then that I had done something he didn't expect. "Don't you like me or something?" Axel asked with a light smirk. I looked at him for a moment then sighed. I do… but he likes Roxas not me. I don't want to be used by him. I don't want the guy I love to look at me and think I'm someone else.

That'd be sick.

Axel looked at me for a moment then smiled. "Do you want ice cream?" He asked and began to walk me to the cafeteria just a few floors up. No one was there but a sour looking chef. He glanced over at us with an ecstatic expression and ran over. "Two sea salt ice creams." Axel stated making the chef glare at him. I looked over at Axel and dared to say it.

"I don't like sea salt ice cream. Can I get birthday cake ice cream flavor instead?" I asked. I could feel Axel flinch beside me making me feel a bit bad but also defiant. He needs to understand that I'm not Roxas. I smiled at Axel causing his face to turn into one of bitter happiness.

"Sorry man. I guess I should have asked you first." He apologized scratching the back of his head. I smiled once again and turned to the annoyed cook. Axel grinned at the man and patted his shoulder. "We'll come by tonight for a romantic dinner." He informed the cook. Once he saw my glare Axel rolled his eyes. "A friendly dinner then." The guy amended with air quotes.

I'm tired of wishing for the best with us… it's obvious he sees Roxas when he looks at me so why does he try so hard when I prove over and over again that I'm not his precious lover? Axel ran a hand through my hair and looked me straight in the face. "Go away." I mumbled with a pout.

"I think you're growing on me, kid." Axel laughed and grabbed our ice cream. He took a nice long lick of mine then handed it to me with a smirk. I scowled at the ice cream and licked his as he was licking the other side. Axel rose an eyebrow at this then snickered at my disgusted face as I quickly washed the taste down with my own ice cream.

He continued to tease me about it all the way to his room. When we got in he showed me where Demyx put the clothes I would need for my stay here. He gets the left half of the closet and I get the right. I smiled thinking of how it's almost as though he brought me here to play house. I looked over the clothes and realized they were much like my own I would normally wear.

I'm going to like it here… even if this is all fake. He brought me here to replace someone who used to live here. I'm just the replacement. The duplicate of the real thing. This hurt more than being ignored by him. I wanted to go home and be with my friends again. This is what I needed… but I wanted to stay here with him. So what if I'm being used?! I get to be with the guy I love!

My eyes widened wondering when a crush turned into fake love. I need to get out of here and end this now before I get too attached. I already know that's becoming too close to now. In a couple hours I may never be able to admit that I need to leave. This scared me more than anything. I took a step forward toward Axel just in time for him to turn around and smile at me.

"Can you kiss me?" He asked making my eyes widen. It took all the will power I had within me to reject such a desirable question. I looked at him for a moment longer and regained all the strength his question had taken from me.

"No." I said simply and turned away from him. I hope he takes that answer and doesn't pursue this. I don't want him to taunt me like this. I'm not Roxas so keep your hands off of me Axel! I almost shouted this but I had enough self control and desire to be with him in order not to say a word. Axel was in front of me then and grabbed hold of my wrists.

"Come on," Axel taunted, squeezing hard on my wrists, as he whispered, "Just one kiss." I tried to break free as my eyes widened in panic. Every part of my body wanted this to continue but my mind was strong enough to want to end it.

"No." I told him firmly even though I wasn't as confident as my voice sounded. Instead of looking offended or hurt, Axel just laughed and laid down on his bed. I watched him for a moment wanting to lay next to him and just talk for a while. I shook my head harshly. I can't do that.

Axel glanced up at me curiously then patted the place beside him. "Why don't you rest up for a couple hours before we go to dinner? You've had a long day and some rest might do your scowl some good." Axel smirked lazily at me. I stared at him for a moment then sighed and laid down beside him. He looked over at me with his arm propping him up and his hand against his head.

"Don't do anything weird." I growled out feeling my eyes begin to droop. He laughed at this making me blush lightly. He's probably going to say he'd only do something like that to Roxas… and then kiss me or something. I thought about this for a moment longer and decided I wouldn't mind if he kissed me.

"I can't do something like that to a minor… especially if he's unwilling." Axel said with a soft but sensual smile. I looked up at him curiously for a moment then fell asleep. I dreamed about what a kiss from Axel would feel like. Would his arms be around my waist, or would he have them behind my neck? Would he dip his tongue in on the first kiss or make it a sweet one with just a brush of the lips.

I woke up feeling Axel rub my shoulder. I quickly realized he was doing that to wake me up. "You're not getting out of our date tonight because of how tired you are. Let's go, sleeping beauty." Axel teased making me notice he was wearing a black and white tux with no tie. I stared at his formal attire for a moment then quickly changed.

I had on a long sleeve white button down t-shirt with a black vest over it and nice black pants. It made me proud how formal I was able to dress. Axel smiled at me with that sly smile of his and led me out of the room to the cook's area. The guy had gone all out with dim lights and a candle at the center of our table with menus.

"Hey there chef." Axel smirked and looked through the menu.

"You people make me sick… hiring me for the rest of my life but rarely coming down here to eat… and then today I finally got someone to come by after a week and it was for ice cream!" The guy shouted angrily.

"I would love to try your cooking!" I grinned at the man making him blush and look at me with an odd look in his eyes. Axel scowled at me and turned to the chef.

"I'd like a beer please." He grumbled and motioned for me. I looked at the menu for a moment then turned to him.

"Ooh can I have chocolate milk?" I asked curiously with wide excited eyes.

"The things you people order." The chef growled but I could tell he didn't mind so much when he slid me a smile and winked.

"You and the chef seem to be getting along." Axel said dryly. I looked at him quizzically and then shrugged and figured I misheard him.

"What do you want to eat?" I asked him curiously. Axel shut his menu and leaned back in his chair.

"Steak, you?" He asked making me scan the menu again.

"Spaghetti." I answered with a smile. Axel leaned in close with that seductive smile back on his face. He held a hand under my chin and smiled.

"Do you want a Lady and the Tramp moment?" He whispered making me blush and hit him in the shoulder. Ignoring the fact that that's exactly what I wanted.


	3. Chapter 3

Axel decided to take me outside. I was happy about this but… a part of me didn't want to share him with the world. This is ridicules though because he's the one who kidnapped me… and he only cares about Roxas. I waited for a moment… in the stunning rays of the sun. Axel smirked at this and placed his arm around my waist. I tried to pull away from him but he didn't let me.

"Why do you always push me away?" Axel asked softly sounding a bit hurt. I looked at him for a moment and then tried my best not to scream 'it's because you see Roxas not me!' but I didn't. Instead I looked down at the ground and tried my best to compose myself. I need to hang it together for my own sanity not for his love and admiration, although my heart would love that.

"I don't like it when you do that… it feels wrong." I whispered knowing this was a lie. I want nothing more than to have the red haired man touch me and take me whole. I would love it if he ravished my entire body and left nothing there I could remotely call 'the old Sora' even though this is wrong. I looked up and noticed that we were at the park.

"This is where I was going to take you." Axel murmured still carrying the blanket and picnic basket. I looked at him for a moment with slightly wide eyes. He's trying so hard but why won't he just give up? Doesn't he know by now that I'm _not_ Roxas?

"Wow! I haven't been on a swing set in forever!" I grinned running forward in order to help distract him. Even if I'm trying to tell him that I'm not Roxas… I don't want him to be sad. My palms became sweaty as I sat on the swing and began to rock back and forth feeling the wind envelope me completely. My grin became wider and wider as I continued to get higher.

Suddenly Axel's long slender hands were on my back helping me to go higher. I laughed at this and closed my eyes feeling my soul slowly begin to pull away from me in the up and back movement. This is one of the few moments I can make for myself where I actually feel free.

When you swing on the swing set with a friend pushing you… you don't think about how you're the keyblade bearer or the fact that you're long lost crush is waiting for you on a blasted island. You don't think about how you are technically kidnapped, or how your best friend has been sending you lust filled looks lately. All you think about is the wind on your face and the feeling in your gut that you belong.

"What're you thinking about?"Axel asked me with a hint of amusement in his voice. I wanted to turn around and stick my tongue out at him… just to know how it feels to be the way I want to around this man. Instead I just laughed to myself and tried not to do anything to take things too far. I'm supposed to be telling him I'm not Roxas.

"I was just thinking about how it's hard to care about reality and worry over it when you're on a swing with… someone having fun." I said then scolded myself. I almost called him my friend… I can't be near him anymore… it's driving me insane!

I jumped off the swing only to be forced back painfully because Axel had grabbed my wrist as I jumped. I landed with my back on the swing seat, my legs limp on the ground, and my arm pits screaming in pain since they were tangled in the seat. Axel reached out to help me but I just jumped away fixing myself swiftly. "You're cute when you're trying not to be embarrassed." Axel decided with a sly smile and nod with his hand on his chin.

"Oh yeah? Well you're a jerk, Axel." I growled and walked over to where he had tossed our stuff down. I set up the blanket and put the basket at the center. I was a bit curious as to what our lunch would be since my stomach was currently growling.

"I was hoping we would start eating fast. I don't think it would last otherwise." Axel smiled and opened the basket, sitting right next to me with our thighs against each other. He pulled out two spoons then two tubs of ice cream. Birthday cake for me and sea salt for him. I grinned and felt the drool from my mouth begin to slide to my chin. Axel leaned forward and licked it away with a smirk.

"That's really gross." I informed him and tried to get rid of my blush by digging into my ice cream. Axel watched me for a moment then smirked widely.

"You know I filled your ice cream with a rape drug right?" He asked me batting his eyelashes innocently. When I gaped at him and dropped my spoon Axel burst into laughter. "I'm just messing with you. Go ahead and dig in before I kiss you and take all that ice cream in your mouth for myself." I quickly swallowed the cream and moved back to my tub.

"Ignoring the jokes, that **weren't** funny," I growled darkly as he gave me an innocent look like he didn't know what the hell I was talking about, "I had fun with you today." I ended with a soft smile. I'm going to indulge I guess. I have to since he's here and oh so willing. I wanted to kiss him too but my heart refused. It knew it would break even though it pounded whenever he even looked at me.

"That's good. I was beginning to think that I was the only one who had any fun around here." He smiled cheerfully. I watched him for a moment longer then shook my head. This isn't fair. I wonder what he would say if he heard each and every thought I had. Would he still stay with me? Or would he go without a glance back at my poor broken heart?

"Where are we going next?" I asked making his eyebrows rise at me. It was as though he didn't have a next planned and it was me who was leading it from here. It was beginning to get dark making me smile and look up at the sky. I then laid down on the blanket beneath us.

Axel smirked and laid down beside me. It was nice just laying here with him right beside me. In a few minutes it was pitch black with the stars above us and a full moon to shed light on Axel's pale face. I turned away and tried to think of anything else but the sexy man beside me.

I grinned as I stared up at the sky, my eyes widened when I saw a shooting star but as soon as I did I made a wish. Two arms slid around my waist the owner of them whispering, "What did you wish for?" Axel whispered and lightly bit my ear.

"That'd you'd stop touching me." I lied knowing I wished for the exact opposite. For a moment neither of us said a word but slowly I began to notice his pout and playful eyes.

"But _I_ love to touch you! Got it memorized?" Axel smiled sweetly. I looked at him with a look of mock horror and then shoved him away prying his fingers off of me. Each touch he gave me sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to keep him near me forever and never let him touch anyone else. I cursed myself softly realizing I'm becoming more and more attached to this man.

"Why do you always glare when I'm not talking to you?" Axel asked me with bright curious eyes. I looked at him for a moment then bit my lip to keep from shouting all my hidden thoughts, secret desires, and the truth my broken heart wanted to scream. Instead I just smiled at him and scratched the back of my head.

"I just think about how angry Riku will be at me when I get back. It really gets me mad, you know?" I lied happily hoping he wouldn't see through me. I smiled in relief as Axel nodded but also felt sad. My emotions versus my logic are hypocrites. Axel doesn't know me well enough to be able to tell when I lie. I understand that and am grateful, but at the same time I wished he knew me and paid well enough attention that he'd be able to tell.

These desperate thoughts are going to shatter my heart beyond repair. I tried to keep a straight head for a moment as Axel packed up our stuff. At the same time I knew I wouldn't be able to. I'm too messed up in the head right now. My thoughts filled with pain and then I thought of nothing at all.

"Let's hurry to your place." I whispered and stood up folding the blanket as Axel waited by the edge of the park. He nodded as I hurried over to him running along with a slight look of concern on my face. Without realizing it… I was holding onto his hand tightly.

"What's wrong?" Axel asked. I could hear the amusement in his voice. I couldn't see his face very well in the dark which helped me to tell him one of the saddest and most pitiful secret fears I have. Sighing I turned to him with a look of embarrassment.

"I'm scared of the dark." I said softly making Axel burst out laughing as he pulled me closer to him. I wanted to squirm away but I was too busy shivering in fear. "You don't have to laugh so much…" I whimpered feeling the darkness reach out towards me.

"Don't worry, Sora. I'll keep the scary things hidden within the darkness away from you. That's what guys like me are for. We're here to keep the cute little boys nice and safe when they go out at night… or rape them if we don't know the poor punk." Axel teased. I tried to pull away from him but then clung to the man when I heard the sound of gunshots.

"I-I'm going to stay with you." I cried feeling my eyes begin to fill with tears of fear. Axel let out another batch of laughter that made fun of me to the core but I didn't care. I just want someone to hold me when I'm scared, be next to me when I'm sick, and love me when I'm ugly and a major hypocrite.

I know that Axel may never be all that for me though…

When we got to the castle I bolted up the steps and thrust open the door. Axel snickered at this and watched me as I ran up the stairs and into his room. When I got into his flame filled room I crawled under the covers and shook with fear trying to get rid of the fear of darkness that filled me. "If you're that scared of the dark… I wonder what will happen when you get to know me better." Axel said from somewhere in his room.

I stopped shaking and peeked out from under the covers. Axel was taking off his shoes and coat before pulling off his pants. He then walked over to me and carried me out of the bed. "Don't get in the bed when you're still wearing your day clothes and shoes." He scowled but kissed my nose playfully.

I glared at him and tossed of my clothes earning his cat calls and whistles. I hate and love the way Axel teases me. Even if he's really just teasing Roxas.


	4. Chapter 4

I held out my hand in my sleep clutching the person who slept beside me. That person was no longer asleep as he held onto my hand and pulled me closer as I cried in my sleep…

When I woke up Axel was getting his boots on with a frown on his face. I sat up groggily and wiped my crust filled eyes. When I could see clearly, and focus on the reality around me, I blinked in surprise seeing Axel right in front of me. The boy looked at me with hot fiery eyes gazing into my wide surprised ones.

I always thought Axel would taste like smoke and ash. But surprisingly when his lips met mine I realized that he tasted like strawberries, and I wouldn't have it any other way. His tongue was taking its time exploring my mouth completely like _I_ was the delicacy rather than him.

I wanted to tell him to stop or to just go away but he didn't. I couldn't bring myself to push him away. Our tongues met and I shivered lying back on the bed running my hands through his hair. Suddenly it ended and tears filled my eyes realizing that it's over. I've finally crossed the line and now I've lost him and my heart.

"You don't love me." I whispered and wiped my eyes. Axel looked at me with his serious but sexy eyes and then shrugged.

"Your right, I don't love you, Sora." Axel informed me and sat down beside me with his hand on mine. I bit my lower lip feeling my breathing coming out in short hollow gasps. Tears streamed down my face as I expected no one to wipe them away, but to my surprise Axel kissed them away. I held onto his shirt with my clinging fingers into his light cloth shirt and sat up sobbing into him.

I winced a bit as Axel rubbed my back, his nails digging into it every once in a while. At least he's actually trying to comfort me. I don't know where this leaves us… I'm just the wimp that cries at everything and he's the one who's taking care of me along the way. I wanted to punch something in frustration about how harsh life is at times.

"You don't love me… so why are you trying so hard to touch me and keep me here with you?" I choked out and stood up grabbing a water bottle from the fridge in his room. I gulped half of the drink down and tried to take deep breaths and clear my messed up head. He kissed me… for the first time… but he doesn't love me so why..?

"Do you want to know the truth?" Axel asked standing up as he walked up to me lifting my head up to look at him by my chin. I blinked in surprise and nodded. "I don't love you but I _like _you. I don't know you that well but I _want_ to." He murmured making me blush as he leaned down to kiss me again.

"Please don't lie to me." I mumbled and tried to escape his seductive words. It'd be so easy to fall into them and drown in his absence of love but overflowing _likeness_. The like that will smash my heart into a thousand pieces.

He leaned down so his lips were at my ear, his arms held me at the counter while his body pressed closer. "I won't ever let you leave me, you will stay with me forever." Axel whispered tauntingly in my ear causing my breath to hitch in my throat I then turned away, wanting to run but knowing I can't. I'm now sworn to him forever… all because of his seductive words.

He let me go and began to walk away but before he got very far the boy turned back to me with a soft smile. "I won't forgive you if I wake up and you're not here." He informed me and patted the bed beside him. I looked at the man before me and decided something was different, my breathing was becoming difficult as I realized what it was. He was vulnerable. He left himself wide open for me to destroy.

But I won't.

I _can't_.

I walked up to him a little clumsily and then fell back onto the bed with my arms across the bed looking up at him, my soft blush making him smirk. "I never wake up first and you know it." I informed him with a smirk back. He laughed at this and then rolled over so he was in push up position on top of me. I was scared. I know how far he can take this… but I don't know how far _I _can.

"Do you want to do this?" Axel whispered softly from above me. I looked up at him and decided I wasn't truly in love with him just yet. My fingers clutched the sheets beneath me for a moment as I tried my best to answer him. _Say anything! Just Answer HIM!_ A voice shouted in my head. For a moment I wondered if it was Roxas….

I gasped and pushed Axel away and ran into the bathroom running the water to hide my sobs. "Am I really just a vessel for you? Or was everyone right when they said that you're a part of me?" I cried and realized that I said that a bit too loud. I covered my mouth feeling the tears fill my eyes as Axel walked in.

He turned me around and hugged me tightly to him as I tried to figure out my thoughts and what was going on. I looked up at Axel to see his eyes closed as he slipped a hand into my hair and pulled me closer to him. I didn't want to… only because this is what the _Roxas_ within me wanted. Maybe that wasn't him but even so… Axel thinks Roxas is inside me.

When I was done crying and Axel was through with trying to comfort me, he took me downstairs so we could get some ice cream. I was sure that, by the time I finally leave this place, I'll be fat. There was no way my body could keep up with all the ice cream Axel kept giving me.

I wanted to over indulge… I want to stay here with Axel forever but if I do that… I'll go insane. "You're my friend now… you can go home if you want." He informed me with a sad smile. I looked up at him wondering if he's now able to read my thoughts. I grabbed my ice cream and began to leave but before I even got to the hallway I turned around and grinned at him.

"I'll be back soon." I said making him smile back at me with a look of bitter longing. I ran down the stairs and out the castle doors knowing how worried my friends are going to be. I was only gone for three days but those three days… felt like eternity. I never leave without telling anyone so when I entered our town border several people were running up to me at once. Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Donald, and Goofy were the first ones at me.

"Where've you been?" Yuffie asked with wide eyes as Goofy poked me in the cheek and Donald glared. I shrugged but smiled at them all.

"I'm back though." I said making Cloud grab me by the arm and thrust me forward out of the crowd. He gave me a look that said 'start talking' but instead I just found myself too shocked to say a word. I'm back… I'm really back. If I wanted to I could stay here and live a _healthy_ life. All my friends here know I'm Sora and will never think of me as Roxas.

Maybe I could hook up with Riku and start living life a little. I looked at everyone and realized that if I stayed here with them… forever… then something will always feel missing. I'll never feel complete because a certain tall lean sexy man isn't here to give me ice cream all the time and go on about fire and if I have something memorized. Granted we didn't talk much about that stuff since I was a drama queen, but that's the life I'd kill for.

And I have.

Roxas's blood is on my hands and within me so I've killed to get Axel to be mine. I should be with him now enjoying the fact that he's mine and mine alone. Ignoring the fact that he thinks of me as Roxas, but that shouldn't bother me because in the end… _I_ win.

"You were with Axel weren't you?" Riku asked me with a soft frown. I looked up at his concerned features and tried to imagine the two of us together but I just saw two friends pretending to be lovers. I dismissed the thought and nodded answering everyone's unspoken questions. "What happened?" He continued looking confused.

In fact, everyone looked confused.

"He didn't reject me. Axel took me out to the park, we had ice cream, went out to dinner, and kissed. I'm all set for this." I smirked knowing full well that my heart was building up walls to weaken the pain as much as possible. I shrugged off everyone's looks of bitter foretelling. They can see whatever future they want of Axel and I. To be honest, I already know this won't end well.

For a moment, everything was a perfect. Tifa made my white hot chocolate, Leon and Cloud told me about the stuff that's been going on, and Yuffie demanded to know _everything_. I wanted days like this to happen forever, but I know I need to get back to Axel soon. That night I realized something I had forgotten. A couple years back I had given Axel my number in case he needed to reach me because of Roxas and my trip to Twilight Town.

I wonder if he still has it.

I waited by the phone like a moron. Hoping he still remembered the number and might actually use it. Riku walked in then and looked at me for a moment and sighed. "Do you want me to give the two of you some privacy?" He asked motioning toward the phone. I glared at him and carried the phone with me to our bed that way I can sleep next to it.

When I woke up the next day I checked the phone to find out that no one had called. Like a sucker, I felt dejected. I got dressed with Riku getting ready right beside me. Neither of us really looked at the other. I was busy trying to get to Axel, but my friend just seemed mad. Before I could jump out the window, Riku grabbed my wrist. "He's going to hurt you." He murmured.

"I know." I answered as my old friend let go of my wrist letting me jump down the three stories. I landed on my feet and immediately broke out into a run to get to Axel's place. I began to wonder what I would do or say when I see him. Will I seem desperate coming back the day after I left? Or would I seem like a guy that comes and goes as he pleases? I'd prefer the latter.

I entered the castle with a nervous smile and trembling hands. He may get mad at me. I shook my head and forced myself to walk up the steps to get to his room. Outside his door I tried to force my shaking hands to form a fist and knock. Right before I could, Axel opened the door. He leaned against the door frame with his arm against the top and looked down at me with a sly smirk.

"Couldn't resist coming back, now could you?" He asked as I hugged him tightly. I don't care how much pain he's going to give me. I don't give a damn if he thinks I'm Roxas. All I want is to be with this man forever.


	5. Chapter 5

Axel decided that we're together now. I'm happy… I guess. Even though I know he's only doing this to get to Roxas, I'm still so excited that he _wants_ to be around me! Isn't that amazing? My thoughts stopped short when I noticed him walking up to me. I was talking to the chef and laughing about random things, like his cooking and my past with my friends.

"You're a pretty swell guy, Sora." The chef smiled slyly and ran a hand down my arm. I looked at the guy curiously not really understanding what he meant by that. When the guy leaned down to kiss me, I freaked out and then… Axel helped me out. He punched the guy square in the face and grabbed my arm taking me away from the place.

The first thing I noticed was Axel's electric eyes. Like Lightening. When he turned to look at me I could feel the electricity running through my body. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DENSE?" He shouted giving me a good shot of the thunder in his voice. My eyes became cloudy and then the rain began to fall. I lifted my hands and wiped my eyes… accidently letting out a sniffle.

The thunder and lightning calmed and took me in his arms. "I'm so sorry! I messed up somehow didn't I?" I cried holding him tightly. "Please don't hate me! I don't want this to end so soon!" Before… before Axel and I were together I imagined his touch to be impatient and rough but instead, by the way he was holding him now… it was soft and gentle.

He touched my curves and pulled me closer. I let him feeling my face heat up knowing where this was going. I wanted to end it now because I didn't want him to see the differences between Roxas and my body. Somehow I was lying on his bed with Axel's hands all over me.

My breath hitched when he took off my clothes; body was lithe, showing off my curves and how skinny I am. Axel scanned my body and licked his lips showing us both the sexiest thing we've ever seen.

A little while later, while Axel was in the shower, silently prayed that he wouldn't leave me. I began to look around the sweat and cum covered bed. I got the sheets, pillow cases, and comforter taking them to the washer. I didn't start it but I at least put them in. Knowing Axel, he'll take all the hot water anyway so I can start this during my shower.

I wanted to take an ice cold shower anyway. That way I can begin to feel, and understand what's going on, but as the confused wreck that I am, I'm beginning to doubt that will happen. I lay down on the sheet-less bed and began to think about the sexy man in the shower. I want us to be together for real instead of this fake in-between I'm stuck in.

I wonder if he was imagining me as Roxas when we were having sex. That would be _**sick**_. I wanted to punch something as hard as I could or destroy the room as I let that thought continue to stay in my mind. When I was whimpering did he think that _Roxas_ was turning into a pansy? This time I punched the bed the hardest I could. I really like Axel… I _love_ him… but if he thinks I'm Roxas then this won't work.

I'm defiantly human. All I do now-in-days is contradict myself. I want Axel to love me even if he sees me as Roxas, _no_ I can't stand the thought of him thinking of me as someone else as he makes love to me! I'm so fucking complicated! I'm done with all this crap! I rubbed my eyes. I can't keep assuming this about him. I need to find out for sure.

Suddenly Axel left the bathroom allowing steam to come out as I gazed at the man who was only in a towel around his waist. "You okay? Wow you cleaned it all up." He murmured looking at the bed. Axel shrugged then walked to his closet and began to leaf through the clothes. "Come on, Roxas, say something. It's not like you to be this silent."

My eyes widened and tears filled them. I scowled and glared at the floor not wanting to show him my hurt face. All the pain and fear I've had ever since I found out that Roxas would leave and become one with me… all of it rushed up at once and allowed me to get the anger I needed to shout the truth to Axel.

"I'm not Roxas!" I shouted at the red-head. He looked at me and said nothing more. I turned the washer on and took a shower, loving the cold water. It helped me to see clearly and it kept my heated face cool. I wanted to die but I knew that wasn't an option. I knew all along that he would compare me to Roxas and even think of me _as_ Roxas.

The cold water ran down the length of my body making me shiver lightly then close my eyes. No… the sex was good sure but it's quickly turning into a one night stand. I left the bathroom and slid the towel over my body doing a half-ass job of drying myself off.

Axel wasn't in his room which surprised me a bit but I just told myself it was for the best. I slipped on my own clothes ignoring the ones he still had hung up for me in his closet. I didn't want to see him or have to explain why I was so upset. I wonder if he thought I knew all along, that this was the reason why he was giving me the time of day. It hurt that I was naïve enough to hope for more.

When I got into the hallway I was shocked to see Axel waiting for me. "Here," He said handing me my cake flavored ice cream as he looked at his melting sea salt one. I looked up at him for a moment and sighed inwardly. I'm an idiot. I truly am. Standing up on my tip toes I took his ice cream from him and gave him mine. The man looked at me curiously as I began to lick away his dripping ice cream bar.

Suddenly the ice cream was gone, from in front of my face, and Axel was kissing me deeply. I could feel his regret and the apology that this was supposed to be. For the first time in a long time I wanted to know him, truly know him. Axel slid on hand on my waist and had the other around my neck pulling me closer almost like a dance move.

When we came up for air I noticed our ice cream melting onto the floor. Axel noticed it to and sighed letting us begin to lick it up. It bothered me a bit when Axel watched my mouth on the ice cream. I ignored the odd sensation and just continued to eat not really caring anymore at how he looks at me. So long as I get used to the disgusting the taste, the better I'll be at this forgiveness stuff.

Axel began to tell me stories then about fire. I don't know where it came from but once he began to talk it was like there was no stopping it. He could go on forever about his pyro habits. He explained how the flames danced in such detail that I was sure he was addicted to them. I pulled a lighter out of my back pocket to test something. I turned the small flame on and watched as his eyes fell on its small but sure flicker.

I moved the lighter around watching his eyes move with it. Suddenly he reached out and grabbed my wrist taking the flame from me and glaring. "Are you a smoker?" Axel asked darkly. I looked up at him in complete shock. The pleasure on his face quickly turned to one of anger. I don't change my emotions so much and it's hard to deal with people who do.

I froze up because of the word deal. You can't _deal_ with Axel. You can only try to stay sane as he drives you insane with every touch, word, and look he gives without a thought. "No." I answered honestly for once. I can care less about smoking. I loved the flame though, simply because flames and the sun remind me of him.

Axel is heat. That's what he does to me, brings me down till I'm simmering with his heat. His soft relieved smile, made a blush appear that began to burn my body. My mind went numb as it overheated. I can't help my reactions to this man. "That's good. I was scared for a moment." Axel sighed shaking his head.

"Don't be. I'm not scary am I?" I asked softly looking up at him with my big wide eyes. A soft redness covered his cheeks making Axel turn away from me. I was instantly confused as he waved back to me. I blinked in surprise.

"You are the scariest damn thing I've ever laid eyes on, and that's why I'm still here." He said turning back to me with a smirk. I smiled then and ran up to him, taking his hand as we finished our ice cream and tossed the trash in a nearby trash can.

He took me into his room and we just kissed. Lying on his bed we mad-out but didn't have sex. Enjoying our fingers on each other's body but nothing too enticing, it was nice and innocent. "This is our form of cuddling." Axel informed me and gave me a dark look. "Other than this I don't cuddle."

I laughed and nodded knowing that I do. He may just have to learn to accept that part of me, or maybe I'll have to give up that part. I looked at this sexy man before me and decided that I'm willing to give up anything in order to keep him. With Axel's arms around me I knew I could handle the pain he'd bring. So long as I have moments like this to make up for it, then I'm fine.

"I love you Axel." I whispered into his mouth. He stopped kissing me then and looked at me with his unreadable eyes and blank expression. I hesitated knowing I must have done something wrong. What's with me? I finally have the man of my dreams and I've messed up once again!

"Don't love me, Sora." Axel answered and then kissed down my neck. I blinked in surprise not understanding anything anymore. It sounded like he meant for _me_ not to love him but for _Roxas_ to love him. That may just be me thinking like a pessimist again but I don't care… I shouldn't.

I have the guy I want and that's it. I'm just going to keep it this way. "Hey Axel, can I have your number?" I asked him curiously and got out from underneath him. The guy looked at me with a confused expression and blinked a couple times.

"Why would you need that?" He asked blankly.

"I have to go back home." I answered and put the sheets from the washer into the dryer. He slid his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

"Stay here with me…" Axel murmured seductively.

"No." I answered with a grin. "I got people to see and places to be, this isn't one of them." He gave me a pout but I was able to ignore it as he wrote his number on my wrist. "Of course you have my number."

"No I don't." Five minutes later Axel had a red mark on his cheek and my number on his chest.

I felt good.


	6. Chapter 6

I felt a tear fall and scolded myself. I'm such a crybaby. Crying again because of happiness rather than the sadness in my head that keeps trying to push through my head; it's pathetic. I looked up at the darkening sky and smiled at the stars. Tonight is so beautiful… as I continued gazing at the sky I was shocked when a pair of lips landed on my own.

Seeing the long hair I thought it was Axel but the kiss was much harsher and more desperate. I pushed the man away, allowing the moon light to show me his face. It was Riku. I glared at my best friend and shoved past him getting angry. If Axel had seen that… would he even care?

I ignored the thought and hurried home. I don't want to be stuck here thinking such thoughts when I could be home hurrying to get to bed, so that I can see Axel when I get up. "Sora, you know that I would actually love you. Why can't you just pick me?" Riku asked from behind me.

I turned to look at him and had to keep myself together knowing that I can't choose him no matter how tempting it is. Riku would actually love me, but Axel is the fire in my very soul. I can't stay away from him. "I love him, not you. I'm sorry, Riku." I informed the guy and hurried to Merlin's place. The cold wind brought forbidding feelings but I ignored them.

When I got inside I could hear my phone ringing upstairs. Everyone looked up at me from the table, as I just waved at them all and ran upstairs. I clumsily picked up the phone and gasped into it crying out a bit in pain. "Hello?" I moaned lightly rubbing my poor foot feeling it sting with heated pain.

Uneven breathing was all I could hear on the other line. I shrugged it off and hung up, not knowing what to do next, I then sat down on my bed and began to take off my shoes. When I was sliding off my shirt and pants the phone rang again. I dodged for it landing on the desk hitting it with my chin, crying in pain I glowered and answered it. "Hello?" I growled and stifled a sob.

Again the uneven breathing was all I could hear. I sighed and hung up; grabbing a band-aid I put it on my bleeding chin. "What am I going to do with you?" Riku asked from the doorway. I scowled at him and turned back to the mirror pressing down on my cut.

"You can turn around now and leave." I said with a smirk. He looked at me for a moment and grinned walking up to me with an arm around my waist. I wanted to yell Rape but I decided not to since everyone here would rather have me with him than Axel.

"I can't leave a friend to mope around all by himself can I?" Riku asked with a soft smirk. I glared at him and jumped when the phone rang once again. I grabbed it instantly knowing it was probably the same person. I couldn't figure out who the person could possibly be. Who would get a kick out of a prank call like this?

"Hello? This is Sora, is it me that you want to talk to?" I asked into the phone visited by the familiar uneven breathing as before. Riku looked at me curiously but I didn't want to have to deal with him. Instead I smiled at the phone pretending that someone was talking.

"Oh hey! I didn't think you were going to call tonight!" I grinned into the phone hearing the breathing completely stop on the other end. I wanted to laugh at the poor shocked person on the other end. I scoffed into the phone and laughed lightly. "That's a dirty thing to say into the phone. Shouldn't we be saying this stuff face to face?" I asked making Riku glare as I just smiled.

The person began to breathe again, apparently realizing what was going on. I could hear the person begin to say something then stop and sigh. That's when the person hung up. "Fine then." I smirked knowing that I would have said it angrily had Riku not been in the room measuring my tone and wording.

"Who was that?" Riku asked making me smile innocently at him. If I told him that I didn't know he wouldn't believe me, even though it is the truth. I just crawled into bed taking the phone with me I put it on my nightstand. I'm kind of hoping the strange caller will call again.

Riku crawled into bed with me, he had a serious frown on his face but I ignored the loser. I'm finally happy and I'm not willing to let some punk with a crush to stand in the way of my potentially-heart-destroying love. The phone decided to ring again.

"Hello?" I asked into it and listened to the person's breathing. I wanted to strangle the moron who was never trained how to talk on a fucking phone but instead I just shrugged. "Alright, whatever." I grumbled and hung up.

I started to fall asleep, unable to talk anymore for some reason. I just felt like I was done with today and ready for tomorrow. Axel called me his… that's all I want right now. I should have stayed over at his place. That would have been so much _better_! Riku is just trying to complicate things.

I clutched the sheet tightly as I thought about his tongue in my mouth. Just as I was on the verge of sleeping the phone rang yet again. "It's you again." I murmured into the phone with a soft smile. "Speak up and let me here what you want." I grinned tiredly. I almost felt drunk with my tired giddiness.

The person on the other line didn't speak. I wanted them to but I never really expected it. This time I hung up. Sleep overtook me, letting me see the world, my pressure of having to save it one day, and the fact that I keep losing everyone. I don't know what to do anymore, maybe I should be with Axel and just be a Nobody with him, will all this pressure go away?

The phone rang again. I picked it up and sighed into it trying to keep my eyes open. "Hello?" I asked and then hung up without even waiting to listen to the person. Sleep overcame me again… but this time… I dreamt of Axel.

At two in the morning the phone rang once again. I frowned picking up the phone for the 7th time that night. "Hello? Who is this? Why do you keep calling?" I asked groggily. I ran a hand through my hair feeling my eyes already beginning to close.

"Sorry… I-I just wanted to hear your voice." Axel murmured on the other line. I smiled not really hearing him or caring since I'm practically asleep.

"Okay." I smiled and hung up. When I woke up the next day, I couldn't remember the phone call. Riku was stalking back and forth through the room getting ready for the day. I blinked at him and then yawned stretching my arms before putting a fist against my mouth.

"That damn bastard!" Riku shouted angrily. I blinked at him lazily and then got up to get ready too. "He called just two hours after I went to bed! TWO HOURS!" He screamed making me cover my ears, not looking up at him once, with a bored expression on my face.

"He called again after we went to sleep?" I asked mildly curious. Riku gave me an exasperated sigh in response and continued his fit. I ignored the boy completely and finished getting ready as soon as possible.

"Yea… you answered the phone. If I was more awake I would have stolen the phone from you and cussed your boyfriend out. That fucking bastard's ruined my day!" Riku cried obviously upset. I wanted to laugh but also cry. Axel didn't call me last night.

I walked down the stairs and noticed Yuffie and Leon waiting for me with annoyed but nervous looks on their faces. I glanced between them for a moment but don't say a word. "Sora, can you please stop seeing him? If you're not too far gone then please… don't do this anymore." Yuffie begged softly. I wanted to tell her that it's okay, and that I'm not too into him. I wanted to say that I'm free to leave…

That'd be a lie.

"I'm sorry but I can't stop, I'm _way_ too gone." I informed her and tried to get past. Leon stepped in front of me with a dark look and deep eyes that seemed to penetrate my very soul. I found myself whimpering making long slender arms hold me around the waist. I blinked and looked up to see Riku who was nibbling on my ear. "Get OFF!" I shouted angrily.

He smirked and let me go but then sucked on my neck. "I love _playing_ with you though." Riku muttered with a sly look in his eyes. I scowled and tried to get past Leon. He sighed and placed a hand on his forehead closing his eyes.

"Why does it have to be this hard to protect a friend?" Leon murmured and let me pass. I could hear Riku yelling and Yuffie fighting right back. I glanced over to see my savior walking out of Merlin's place heading over to Tifa's bar.

I watched them for a moment longer then ran to Axel's place. When I got inside I was met by a screaming Demyx, who was running around the room with a freaked out expression. "What happened?" I asked myself and hurried up to Axel's room. Once I got inside I saw the fire, _real_ fire, tearing apart his room.

I watched the flames in a mixture of horror and understanding. I realized something I never thought of before. Fire can only destroy. It's not something that can love or treasure. Tears filled my heating eyes as I watched Axel burn every inanimate object in the room. He turned to look at me then, with eyes like fire.

"You cheated on me!" He shouted angrily and threw his desk chair against the burning wall. Soon the entire room was almost fully engulfed in flames. We were barely held at bay from the dancing heat all around us.

"Are you talking about Riku? He's been doing weird things to me but I always reject him and pull the jerk off of me." I growled and ran to the bathroom getting tubs of water to throw on the fire. Axel said nothing more and watched as I got rid of every flame in the pyromaniac's haven. When I was done the man walked up to me and hugged me tightly but I could feel the rage still buried within him.

"I'm so tired." He mumbled against me. I nodded and helped him to the bed, when I saw it as a ruined ash dump, I then helped the man out of his room. The room next door had pictures of waves on the walls but I didn't care.

"You can sleep here." I smiled, laying him down in the bed. Demyx ran in then and scowled at me. I wanted to laugh at his cute expression but did nothing.

"_He's not sleeping in my room_!_ He's gonna burn it down_!" He whined making me walk up to him with a glare darker then hell itself.

"Axel's staying here whether you like it or not." I informed him and turned to the boy behind me. Axel was sleeping soundly making me want to join him. I hesitated for a moment and smiled. He's my boyfriend, I can do this much.

I could hear Demyx complaining about his bed smelling like sex but I ignored him, taking in Axel's heat and rage.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up all alone. Axel was nowhere to be found so I just laid in his bed thinking about his jealousy the day before. It felt nice having someone like him care about me so much. I wanted him to care about me forever. Sadly… I know he was just upset because someone kissed his _Roxas_. I glanced over at his walls and nodded.

Although he had burned his room… pictures of Roxas were all over the walls. There was one picture of me and him… but it also had Roxas who was between us. I gripped the ashy sheets and clung onto them. I didn't want to be alone as these thoughts fill me whole.

Maybe his devotion isn't to me. My hypocrisy will be the death of me. With Axel not here to hold me tight in his arms and my friends gone and not able to comfort me… I really do feel all alone. I wonder what will happen to me. Will I fall into his soft green eyes knowing that he sees me as someone else? Am I really that strong?

I have to be. This is our bond. Axel and my bond is Roxas. That is all that we have together and that's all there will be, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough for that. Roxas was strong, so I should be able to be strong as well to prove my worth to Axel. Their bond together… it was unbreakable… mine just has to be close or at least part way.

I walked into the bathroom and got into the shower. I let the water hit me as hot as it could. Hissing, in pain I forced myself to stay. Maybe I can get used to the pain sometime or perhaps it will always burn. Fire destroys and laughs at the remains. I began to get used to the heat but I would still whimper at the sudden pain it would bring back. I still refused to get out though.

Hopefully… In the end… the pain will become something I hardly notice anymore. I need to get over it. A sick twisted throb filled my stomach. I wanted to puke but instead I just turned away. Perhaps it will end the same way for me as it did Roxas. I'll just die knowing that I won even though the boy Axel loves is within me.

_I_ got him! No one can deny that fact. He got jealous when someone kissed _me_! The man eats ice cream with _me_, and he sleeps beside _me_ even though he could easily send me away! I've won… even if Axel thinks of _me_ as Roxas. I watched him come into the bathroom and walk in with me. His eyes stared at my body hungrily. I didn't say a word but let him have his way.

He's the man I love and I can't let him be unhappy, even if this isn't what I want. I wouldn't mind having sex only once a year if he would just hold my hand and smile at me every day in between. That would be my idea of perfection. That would be my heaven. Sad to say, that's impossible.

Axel probably never held Roxas's hand, or smiled at him all the time. He could have just had sex with him every night and talked to him every day. That could have been their life. If it is… then perhaps I'm just a hopeless romantic stuck in a hopeless relationship. But I want him. Holy crap, how much I want him.

If I was the one that made destiny… and wrote the romance tales of all the people out there, then I guess I would make this a tragedy. I'm being selfish. Beyond selfish. I have what I deserve; an unrequited love shall be mine. Nothing in the world can save me from that, and I'm too stubborn to leave. I gasped out as he entered me and then clung to his hair with my lips against his chest. I _need_ this man.

Without him… then I'm just a keyblade wielder and someone who's lost to love.

Axel left soon after and I knew he was getting ready for another day. I don't need to do anything with my life, as a hero I've always gotten a free ride that I've never really abused but is it really okay for me to do that here? I quickly decided that it must be since my boyfriend lives here and all. When I got out of the shower and had a towel on I got to see just how much cleaning got done in that short amount of time.

Everything that was burnt, and all the ash was simply gone as though it had never been there in the first place. Instantly my mind wandered to where Axel is right now. I guess the best way to describe the way we are together… he's my sickness. Whenever I'm around him the fever starts and I get dizzy. I just want to be with him forever, it's a sickness I'm addicted to.

And a sickness I never really wanted.

Heading over to where the chef is I ordered some breakfast and waited at the counter. Suddenly Axel was right behind me with his arms around my waist and lips at my ear. "I wonder how good you would look in a maid outfit… all slutty looking and needy with that dust cleaner in your hand… All that lace and the net stockings…"

I shoved him away and blushed scarlet trying to get the image of myself under his fingers that were overcome with lust… man what would he do with the dust cleaner? Burn it then have that with us while we- ah no. I'm not thinking anymore on this subject.

"You're disgusting." I growled and tried to ignore the warm feeling inside. He thought about _my_ body in that outfit. He wants _me_. Isn't that fucking awesome? Axel seemed to sense my good mood and kissed down my neck with me closer than before. I looked up at him and smiled knowing that I'm loving this. Who fucking cares about Roxas anyhow? He's dead and I'm still alive.

"But I'm _your_ Disgusting." I stared him down not even cracking a smile at his lame joke. Axel sighed then let me go so I could turn and look at him. Somehow he seems a bit nervous right now, instantly I got my food and sat down ready to eat. Sitting next to me he looked down at my food with a bored expression.

"No you cannot burn my food for fun." I said before he could even ask. I've been missing my lighter recently and I'm pretty sure I know who has it. "The room will probably be finished by the end of the day." I said slowly and watched as the rage came back into his eyes. Somehow it reminded me of the fire that completely destroyed his room.

"Why did you let him put his hands all over you?" He demanded letting me see that the fire hadn't died all this time, we'd only been fooling ourselves. Or maybe I was the only one fooled.

"I didn't _let_ him!" I cried back not wanting to argue with him but I want Axel to see the point and understand. This didn't seem to work out since he started yelling again only this time he thrust me up from my chair.

"You _always_ push me away when I touch you, why didn't you do the same to him?" He shouted making me look at him with hurt eyes. He knows that isn't true, for the past few days I _have_ let him touch me and do whatever he wants, why the hell would he bring up the past like it was fucking last night?

"You know that hasn't been the case recently." I growled and then sat back down and forced myself to eat knowing it won't do anything for me since my body doesn't feel like eating right now. It wants me to fight and hurt and then maybe hold back a few tears since I've cried too much. Axel's eyes were calming down when he noticed the way my lips were pressed and my eyes almost at his just at the forehead that way the intensity won't kill me.

"It just pissed me off, I'm sorry." He muttered and covered his face with a hand then turned around and ordered some food along with a beer, I think the beer will help too. Somehow I think today is turning into an uneventful one even though a shitload has happened. Oddly enough no one seems to care that their enemy is here, it's either that or no one has reported it.

I'm willing to bet on the latter.

I'll kill Xemnas, and any other Nobody that gets in my way of keeping Axel. It's as simple and as heartless as that, but I'm not sure if many people in town believe me. Why should I care about that anyway? My eyes softened a bit when I saw how he seemed to sag his shoulders and he seemed pretty depressed. We've been moving fast but we've being moving during almost a twenty four hours a day thing. Many couples I know only see each other for a couple hours a day at most.

Does this make us… something to be proud about for the progress or no? Axel turned around and flashed me a smile then made a provocative gesture. I glared and looked down but I knew my face was turning red with happiness. He makes me happy, and already it seems like he's noticing _Sora_. I should be the happiest guy alive right now.

"So I was thinking about today… do you want to just hang out in bed all day?" Axel sighed looking a little worn around the edges. I nodded eagerly then thought about what I'm supposed to be doing, as a hero and all. I should probably be ditching this world for a bit looking for heartless and helping people.

"Sure." I said knowing he already took the nod as a yes. I'm just eager to do something I haven't done in a while. The chef glanced over at us making me cover my mouth. He still has a black eye from before, and sadly it's hard not to laugh at it since now he's finally gotten some color on his pale face.

"Then hurry up, you're acting like a girl. Eat like a man, Sora." Axel snickered. I glared at him and tried not to hit him like I know my fist really wants to do. Of course I could always just summon my keyblade and have a fight with him right now, then again that doesn't seem fair.

I hurried up and ate the rest of my food before hurrying to the room. "Did you know we've met before?" Axel asked softly taking hold of my hand. I looked at him skeptically then watched him laugh. "No it wasn't here in this town and at that time I wasn't with Roxas. We met in a place where you lost all your memories. It's called Castle Oblivion." He explained.

"Tell me." I whispered and had us both crawl into bed. Axel looked surprisingly serious but also happy as he turned to me.

"You were just the keyblade master, and we already had one of those. Somehow I wound up getting interested in you and didn't want you to lose all your memories. I helped you understand what to do, cleaned up the mess, and then you hit me when I tried to flirt with you." Axel said with a laugh. I looked at him with wide but stunned eyes.

"Wow… I can't believe how smart I was." I commented making him pull me under the covers and show me just how much I'd regret that decision.


	8. Chapter 8

I really don't think that having sex every night is love. There's only so much you can do before a guy like me starts to think it's just lust, but it's still nice knowing that someone as amazing as Axel can lust after someone like me. I guess it's just something I didn't expect.

I smiled over at Axel's sleeping face then kissed his cheek, I really love this guy and I have for a long time, but when I'm with him it seems like the world has turned grey with red flames bursting out of nowhere at odd moments. I blinked hard and then glared wondering why I keep ruining everything. I shouldn't exist at all if that's all I'm going to do with these blessings I've been given.

"G'morning." Axel whispered into my face and kissed my nose making me blush. He smirked then pulled me out of the bed and then with him into the shower. I'm going to have too many muscles if we keep this up or maybe just he will. My stomach growled when we finally got to just washing the others hair.

"What are you doing today?" I asked knowing that I'm going to go home. I need to because if I don't I think everyone will forget about me. I spend so much time with nobodies that I think I'm starting to become one myself. If I can hang with the somebodies for a while then maybe I can keep myself the way I am. Will becoming a nobody help our relationship?

"I'll be hanging out here and training. We need to get the hearts from the heartless. That means we have to work on sending them to you." Axel said with a frown and slight glare. I nodded knowing what I have to do then. He looked over at me curiously but it wasn't an interested curious it was more of an accusing one.

"Alright then I'll help you out. I'll go off and explore Radiant Garden looking for heartless to kill, just make sure to send them my way." I said with a shrug and left the shower to get dressed. Axel hurried after me then wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Why?" He asked simply making me feel like the bad guy for some reason. I felt my eyes sting just a bit as I wondered if my friends had forgotten about me already. Axel began placing kisses down my neck.

"I wanna go home." I told him softly and glanced back at him but in the process I made sure to tilt my head back to help him out… if I could purr then I would.

"No you don't." Axel whispered making me realize that honestly I really don't. Sighing I pushed away from him and shook my head. He just smiled then did a pretend pout for me while patting the bed. I took a step backwards and nearly tripped heading for the door, but all I did was just shake my head once more before leaving.

I never noticed the deep frown and glare on his face just before I got out the door.

In town I headed over to Tifa's bar and we talked for a while, she's ignoring all talk of boyfriends and the nobodies but other than that it's just like good old times. I left the shop and was immediately attacked by around fifty heartless. I took them down but for some reason I could practically taste someone's pain on my tongue. Why is Axel sending so many? It's no problem for me of course but still, why would he do this?

Suddenly even more showed up and before I could defeat them all then more did as well. I fought and fought feeling the sweat on my brow and the pain in my chest. I could tell my hair was starting to get that look that Roxas has to use gels to get while I just have to fight for thirty minutes straight. That's when the swarms of heartless stopped coming. I took a deep breath and stumbled a bit feeling the blood on my face and arms. I was able to protect my legs the best I could but my arms were more focused on swinging the keyblade then protecting itself.

I fell to my knees and took in several deep breaths. That's when Axel walked up to me. Why is he so… there's nothing elegant or relaxed about him when he's with me… right now though he looks more worried than happy plus he looks enraged. He kept looking at my hair and then at the blood. I laid down on the street and looked up at the sky. Taking in deep breaths I could have sworn I heard voices as Axel stuck to the shadows and watched me.

"I think I did really good." I said with a smile making him nod slowly agreeing with me completely. I had to let out a short and airy laugh at that. Soon Aerith and Cloud were helping me up while giving me potion.

"What happened?" Cloud demanded making me look over at the shadows, but Axel was already gone. I told them about the heartless and then waited for my wounds to fully go away. I don't think I'll lose the taste of blood for a while but that's fine. I don't care.

"Axel wasn't here to help you?" Aerith asked making the two back up a bit while she just looked me straight in the eye in order to get the answers. I blinked and looked away for a moment. I think I like it better when people are disturbed about my relationship with him.

"No. he wasn't." I answered making sure no one would be able to blame him for anything. She nodded slowly but continued to stare at me. Finally she tended to the rest of my wounds and cleaned up the blood. No one said anything for a while and I was grateful.

"You aren't going to go anywhere for a little while. It's too dangerous for you so stay here for a month before you can go back to Axel." She informed me with a no nonsense voice. I found myself nodding even though I knew this was ridiculous. I know why this happened and it has nothing to do with Axel! Well okay that's not true but it's not like he was trying to kill me or anything!

"Fine." I growled and let myself fall asleep on the bed ignoring everyone's concerned faces just wanting to see a simple smirk with plans of what we'll be doing later on that night. Instead all I saw was darkness but that didn't seem so bad. I always knew this was all going to end in darkness anyway.

When I woke up I found Leon and Yuffie looking at me nervously. I could tell immediately that they were here to make sure I didn't leave. I sighed and rolled over looking out the window. Everything seems to have become a bit more grey. I hope this month ends quickly that way I can go back to him. The food they served me for my meals didn't have much taste but that's fine. I'll get used to it soon enough.

I walked around the bar but didn't leave knowing I'd have too many people bothering me and making sure I don't even look in the direction of the mansion. Aerith walked into the bar and headed straight up to me with a smile on her face. "I told Axel about how you have to stay here. He seemed a bit upset but I made sure he understood." She informed me letting me see the cruelty she must have used to get him to be okay with this.

I'm his gate to Roxas I think he'd be upset to find that I'm gone. I took a deep breath and nodded then sat at the bar getting a beer. I think it's time I get into this stuff. Cloud and Tifa seemed a bit worried but I ignored them completely. I didn't think going here would make me lose my boyfriend to a small extent.

Two weeks were just dreams. When I got a call I would jump up but the person would never speak or even take a breath. Soon I stopped picking up completely. My friends stopped visiting after the second week but they made sure I stuck around. When I was on my last week they finally let me outside.

"You sure you're ready to do this?" Tifa asked looking me over skeptically. I nodded and started to leave but she pulled me back into a hug. "I'm just worried about you, okay?" She smiled and ruffled my hair a bit. I'm going out to get some stuff for the bar, just grocery shopping but for some reason she's acting like I'm going off to college.

Heading outside the glaring grey sun nearly killed me but I ignored it and looked at my list. Heading to the first shop it took me twenty minutes to decide between two different kinds of ketchup. That's when I figured I might as well pick the cheapest and best looking of the stuff I get. That way no one bites my head off for it later.

When I got outside with a huge brown bag full of stuff a tomato fell to the ground. I bent down to pick it up but before I could a man with red hair walked up to me with a smirk on his lips. "Here let me get that for you." He purred and grabbed the tomato. I stared at my boyfriend in complete and utter shock then nearly cried when his lips were on mine. We still love each other and it's been a month where I've been gone… how is that possible? I knew I was getting too deep when into this.

He didn't look as robotic as before when he pulled back from the kiss with a sly smirk on his face. My own heated up as I thought about how long it's been. A lot of the grey vanished and instead it seemed like we were surrounded by flames with their heat flickering over our bodies ready for the fires of hell to take us down into our very own oblivion.

We didn't talk for a while, he hid in the shadows while I headed back to drop the bag off just outside of the shop. When I'm done with that I'll leave. Someone will bring the bag inside. That will be much better than me because then I won't have to try to escape my guards. I smiled softly at Axel knowing my life is going to change. If I no longer feel safe here with my friends or anywhere near whole then I need to go and probably never come back. I laughed to myself as he took my hand and we left.

"I think it's time we go to the park again." Axel smirked letting me see his intentions. I blushed harder and glared at him.

"Not in public! We've been apart for too long to show some innocent kids how horny we are." I growled feeling myself slip back into our old routine. He laughed aloud then brought me up to him in a dark and twisted kiss. It brought me down from my high horse but I was still able to convince him to take us to the mansion to do this. With our fingers intertwined I think we need each other more than we know or at least I know I need him and desire him much more than I had first assumed.

Our sweat and cum was all over the sheets as our heavy breathing was the only noise that filled the room. Axel began to kiss down my neck making me think of that last time. What had made him want to hurt me?

I don't know and nor do I care.

I just want to be with him.


	9. Chapter 9

It was easy just laying there on the bed allowing him to do what he wants while I daydream. Most of the time Axel and I just hang out in bed all day, and today was no exception. Lying on the bed I felt his hands massage my back, while I just closed my eyes and let myself relax in his presence. We've gotten better at being together. I still visit the people in town every once in a while but it's obvious I'm being forgotten. I'm turning into a Nobody like Roxas.

Suddenly he stopped touching me completely before placing his stomach on my back while his hands went through my hair. "You're hair… it's so soft." He whispered making me blush lightly and cover my face waiting to feel what he'd do next. To my amusement, and slight embarrassment, he just played with my hair for a while.

"What do you want to do today?" He murmured in my ear as he rolled my body over. I looked up at him and began to think. Okay I know this is asking for trouble but I really want to try this out sometime… Glancing back up at Axel, I decided to say something that would surprise him.

"I want to try eating ice cream on the clock tower." I informed the redhead and watched the happiness growing around him. Soon we were off to twilight town, walking through the streets felt odd, especially when people would look over at me with curious and blank expressions. I knew they could see Roxas in me but my appearance and such just doesn't match.

Holding Axel's hand I tried to get him to hurry up. Beside the clock tower is an ice cream store, so we quickly got our ice cream and soon we were racing to the top of the building. It was fun but oddly enough it was familiar as well. Standing at the top I almost dropped my ice cream. The sunset is beautiful up here!

I grinned and ran over to the edge before sitting down. Axel blinked at me in surprise and I could see a slight frown. He was sitting at a different spot. Rubbing the back of my head I stood up ready to head over to him but instead the redhead just smirked and walked over to where I was. I shouldn't confuse him like this. He misses Roxas and I just ruined this for him.

We leaned against each other and finished off our ice cream, Axel tossed his trash over the edge making my eyes widen, that's when he took hold of mine and did the same. "I like this spot better." He said softly and took my hand. I nodded then looked down. I couldn't help but lean a little closer to him and scoot back. He just laughed. "Are you scared?" The redhead asked making me nod slightly.

"Do you know how easy it'd be for me to fall off of this thing?" I cried and took hold of his arm. He just laughed harder and lifted me up to where I was over the edge. With his hands gripping my shoulders tightly and the knowledge that if he lets go I'll die… I just hung there in the air, not really caring. I mean, I trust him enough to do what's best, but I just _don't_ want to die because of my own stupidity.

"You're strange." He informed me with a light smile and an easy going laugh. I ignored it completely as he set me back down. Heading through a dark portal we arrived back in his room ready to waste the day away again. Walking into his room Axel headed over to his stash of candy and began to eat a chocolate bar. I watched in slight hunger as he took each bite until it was all gone, and that's when he handed me one of his own.

"Yes!" I cheered and opened it up. Grinning, I quickly finished off the chocolate bar he had so kindly given to me. The chocolate bar was soon gone but some chocolate remained on my fingers. Lifting a finger up to my mouth Axel immediately took it instead.

"Let me get that for you." He smiled and licked my finger clean. I couldn't help but blush… and I'm pretty sure this blush is as dark as his hair. I watched for a moment longer then had to look away. Once he was done we were soon on the bed ready to fuck the other senseless for the rest of the day.

Leaning against Axel's bare chest I started to think about things. Is he too forced around me? I don't know. I like this, the thing we have here even if it involves sex all the time and no real talking. With Riku I know we'd talk a lot more than have sex, but then again we have more things to talk about… is that why Axel and I don't talk? Ugh… I have a good thing going for me right now and I'm going to ruin it because of this stupid brain of mine.

Axel loves me… I think… or at least he cares about me. All this devotion he has though- it can't be for me. Testing me at the clock tower wasn't some odd sign of love, it was to see how far I'd let him take me. I bet when he and Roxas were here they would never have done something like that. I really could have died… but he would never kill me because to him I'm still Roxas. I can tell he's struggling to remind himself that I'm Sora but he also knows that parts of me are Roxas.

He wants to protect me because if he protects me then he's protecting Roxas and he would never allow his precious _Nobody_ to die! I glared at the bed and said nothing for a while. I'm just so sick of this all the time. He's only devoted to Roxas and I'll never truly make his radar.

I took a deep breath and began to wonder once again. What if… what if I've become more like Roxas then myself? This made me shiver causing Axel to wrap his arms around me pulling my body in closer to his. It was nice though… being in his warmth, even when he's burning the hair off my skin it's still… there it is, a thought that belongs to Roxas. I finally found it too.

"You're so cold…" Axel whispered and kissed down my neck while putting the covers over me. I smiled lightly happy to have someone who cares but… I can get that at home too. Riku will love me and only think of me when we talk or do something. He won't think of the Roxas within me. The silver haired boy would talk to me and hear all my thoughts and complaints while laughing and teasing me whenever he can. The only problem is that he _isn't_ Axel.

"You're so warm." I murmured and snuggled in closer to him. I like this place right here. I'm stuck between fire and a hard place. I think I like the hard place more, it leads to fun little games and even though it messes up the bed and sometimes the room… I still like it.

There are things in this world that I'm terrified of. I hate spiders with a passion but Riku blames that on the horror movie Kairi made us watch when we were younger, I'm also scared of the dark since it almost took my best friend away. Soon… with the weight of the worlds on my back- I was scared of failing. I need to be the hero of this story because if I'm not it then who will be? If I fail then I failed everyone!

This isn't all that bad though… these fears I'm okay to face and it's fine with me. These fears are normal and tend to help me during some time or another but there's another fear I have that isn't like that and it hurts. This fear is the worst fear I've ever had and I just got it recently. For a while I thought it wouldn't matter if I was scared of this or not… but it does.

The thing I'm scared of most in this world is the person who's holding me to him so tightly right now. The one who is whispering dirty promises and the one who could easily tie me to this bed and burn me into hell if he really wanted to, it's Axel. The redhead who could have easily killed me today just by letting go, he is the one I fear most and yet it's not for that reason… not at all.

I'm scared of him because with the slightest change in his mood… I could be out in this world without him. If that happens I don't know what I'll do. I'm always competing with Roxas and I'm always working to make him happy. There's a constant battle in my head about right and wrong yet none of that bothers, scares, or hurts me. In the end only one person in the entire universe matters to me and he doesn't even know how important he is.

If I told him I doubt it would help the situation and honestly I doubt he'll care.

"You seem a bit distracted." Axel murmured sounding tired. I glanced over at his drooping eyes then kissed his nose. The man immediately fell asleep placing me into a death grip of sorts. I can never get out of his grip… he's a bit too strong for me in that way. I do know the perfect way to wake him up though. I tried to get comfortable before allowing my own eyes to drop slightly. We both need our rest since tomorrow I'll be heading off to town again. I don't think he likes it when I do that.

I kind of have to though since Riku needs me and all. No one else does at the moment.

When we woke up I got dressed and headed out leaving a groggy Axel still lying on the bed. He's such a lazy bum sometimes! Smirking when I got into Tifa's bar Riku was there waiting for me. "You're late." He grumbled but I ignored him and headed upstairs to put my things away. Yuffie was there waiting for me with a grin.

"Wow I almost forgot what you look like!" She laughed and hugged me tightly to her. I nodded slowly but didn't say anything. It's a hard transition going from being with Axel to being with everyone else. I'll eventually get used to it though and if I don't then I'm completely and totally screwed over.

"Hey Yuffie." I nodded and unpacked my things, she watched me for a moment then left leaving me to my own devices. It's funny how they treat me like I can't handle myself when I've _been_ handling myself since I was fourteen. Suddenly the phone rang making me smirk and answer it. "Hello?" I asked.

"Hey I was just calling to make sure you made it okay." Axel said softly on the other line. A blush went along my cheeks but I just frowned.

"Of course I made it okay! I'm not a kid you know." I grumbled. I can do things on my own, I don't need people checking up on me all the time… of course with this man I'm willing to make an exception. He just laughed.

"Of course… but whatever, it's weird not having you here." Axel said but this sounding a bit… sad. I just smiled and nodded even though he can't see me.

"Don't worry I'll be back in a couple days and then things will be normal again, I promise." I informed him with a laugh.

I didn't know he cared.


	10. Chapter 10

Riku wouldn't leave my side no matter what I did in an attempt to ditch him, it was cute but also annoying since it's like he's become my stalker or something. He's a cool guy and all but I prefer some space especially when I'm trying to show myself that there is a world without the redhead and yet for some reason my heart won't accept it even though my head is telling me the answer point blank.

"Can I at least go to the bathroom alone?" I asked Riku with an annoyed look on my face and crossed arms. He turned away and walked over to our table without saying anything but I could tell I hurt the guy, if only just a bit. He needs to know I can do things on my own and I won't suddenly disappear, although I'm leaving tomorrow.

I walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face before wiping it off. Looking into the mirror I couldn't see myself making me jump back and hold onto the stall door tightly. I couldn't see the easy going brunette who always smiles and talks about the heart... no instead I saw a blond who just wants to find his place while trying to prove that he's worth existing. It hurt but I accepted it evenly.

"You're inside of me and there's nothing I can do about it." I stated and then walked out of the bathroom to see my annoying friend. I wanted to ditch him and just go hang out by myself but I knew that would be the opposite of what I want to do here. I'm trying to prove that there's a life outside of him and his world but apparently it's just not working.

"Where do you want to go next?" Riku asked, putting his hands in his pockets and looking ahead of us. I don't know when it happened but sometime along the way of us hanging out and being what we are... Riku grew up. He's taller and doesn't look like a kid anymore which is strange since we're the same age and yet I look like the little freshman in high school while he looks like an adult. Nice toned muscles and a small crooked smile and a smirk. He's not the kind of guy many girls can pass up, except he doesn't like girls.

The sun beat down on us letting me know the day was starting whether I liked it or not. Looking at his skin compared to mine I frowned. I used to be so much tanner than him and yet... now he's darker and I'm becoming pale. My skin is at least four times lighter than before. Glaring at the ground I decided that today I'll just stay outside all day long knowing that it might darken me up a bit. I don't like all these changes and yet they'll keep on coming. Will I ever be able to make the world just stop and maybe go back a bit?

The heat of the day felt good against my cold skin as Riku and I just walked in silence. "Where are we going?" He asked lightly making me realize I didn't respond to him the first time he asked. Looking around us I saw nothing of interest making me turn and smile.

"Can we go to Twilight town?" I asked making the man frown and then lead me to the ship. It didn't take long and I could feel his annoyance at the fact that I'm doing something the old me never would have even considered doing. Twilight town is a pretty dull and uneventful town, unless you count the whole struggle thing and all their tournaments. I won one a while back but that was when Roxas was missing. I wonder what would have happened if we went up against each other.

I hurried off of the train and ran us over to an ice cream stand before ordering sea salt ice cream for the heck of it. Riku ordered my favorite just in case, but for some reason today it tasted okay. Not bad and not good which meant I soon switched over to my favorite. The silver haired man laughed and looked a bit relieved. I smiled at this and said nothing knowing why he was worried and then relieved.

"Are you scared of heights?" I asked him curiously making the man shake his head while I led him to the clock tower. This is how I should have been with Axel that one day not too long ago. Perhaps it's okay though that I'm getting into it now. I hate this... with a passion but at the same time it's almost pathetic. Roxas is just pathetic. A part of me was stung by this but I just smirked. He died because his life was worthless, no one cared about poor little Roxas and that was just sad. The only person who cared wound up dating his replacement.

Roxas is pathetic and that's perfectly fine.

When we got to the top of the clock tower I turned to Riku. "I think I'm okay with everything that's going on right now. I have a good life, good friends, and a good boyfriend." I said with a sigh. He glared at me then looked at the sunset. I can tell this is going to be hard. I guess I'm a bit done with worrying about the future anyway. In the end I won, end of story and yet there are other characters than Axel, Roxas and me. I keep forgetting that this affects everyone else a bit too. It changes things with Riku, Yuffie, Squall, Cid, Merlin, Goofy, Donald, Kairi, and I'll even put Namine in there since she went through the same thing.

"I hate it." Riku growled making me look over at him just as he got up and put his hands on my shoulders. "Just let him go, this isn't going to work out." The man growled out making me look at him and stand up, brushing his hands off of me. "You're my best friend Sora. I only want what's best for you." He murmured leaning in closer to me. I side-stepped him then shook my head swiftly.

"If you knew me then you'd know how much I need him. But since you don't know me then it's fine. Don't judge me." I stated and dropped my popscicle stick over the edge. Turning around I left him alone while getting a ride back to town. I'm not in the mood to deal with idiots like him, especially when he's trying to say he knows me. He doesn't know me anymore because he refuses to know the me who's with Axel. When I got back to Tifa's bar I was surprised to see Yuffie there waiting for me with an annoyed Squall.

"Don't encourage it." The brunette growled while I just looked at her curiously. The ninja turned to me and grinned with a look on her face that showed me that she's in a defiant mood. This probably means she's going to tell me dispite Squall's order.

"Axel called eight times for you!" She giggled making me blush before racing upstairs. "Good luck up there!" She called after me while I heard Leon's angry shouts soon afterward. Picking up my phone I instantly called my boyfriend ready for someone to cheer me up. With a face like a clown and all those dirty words he likes to whisper in my ear I bet he'll be exactly what I need right now!

He picked up after the first ring sounding a little out of breath. "Hey Axel." I said trying to hide my euphoria. He picked up! It sounded like he really really really wanted to pick up! I don't care what the hell Riku thinks because this is healthy, and real and right!

"Hey there..." Axel said sounding a bit seductive and a little tired. I just grinned and nodded then had to slap myself in my head and remind my stupid brain that he can't see me and thank god for that.

"You called?" I asked him wanting to know why so many phone calls. He was probably dying to hear my voice and needed to speak to me right away! The redhead most likely misses me like there's no tomorrow and is trying to stop himself from kidnapping me and bringing me home right now so that we can have some delicious, hot, and steamy sex!

"Yeah I wanted to know if you knew whether or not the dryer would still work if a certain blond idiot filled it with water?" He asked letting me hear just how worn out and exhausted he sounded. It took me a moment to realize that he was talking about Demyx not Roxas and it took me a while longer to finally understand that he doesn't want to kidnap and rape me, he doesn't miss me, and he didn't just want to hear my voice. He had a question... and that's all.

"Did you take the water out and dry the insides?" I asked him making sure he's not a complete idiot as the flames of my rage and hurt began to fill me whole. There was a momentary pause on the other line helping me to fuel my murderous rage.

"I'm not a complete idiot." He grumbled sounding annoyed. I wanted to laugh at this but instead I didn't as this added even more rage and hatred deep within me. It's not his fault, I'm logical enough to know this but that doesn't mean I'm not going to blame him for it anyway.

"Then it should work but just to be safe try out drying Roxas's clothes first." I said in a monotone voice knowing this is evil and cruel but I want to punish him if only with his own thoughts. He'd never want to risk his precious _Roxas's_ clothes when that's pretty much all he has left of him. Even a complete idiot like Demyx knows this and here I am making sure to make my boyfriend pissed.

Ooh I wonder if he'll set the room on fire again!

"Why would you even suggest something like that?" Axel asked in an incredulous voice. I let a smile grow on my face as I could feel all the rage, pain, confusion, and just pure heartbreak that's been building up all day. A tiny voice in the back of my head told me not to take it out on him. I really shouldn't because if anything he's the reason I haven't succumb to it at all... but then again since I got all of this _because_ of him shouldn't I take it out on him as well?

"It's because I'm not Roxas and he's not here. We shouldn't waste something of ours because we're too scared to waste old scraps. Besides the dryer might be perfectly fine." I said nonchalantly and waited a moment. There was a long silence so I just sighed heavily. "I'm going to go, bye." I sighed and then hung up the phone. Laying on my bed I looked up at the ceiling.

Dammit. I screwed up just now didn't I?

I curled into a ball and held back tears as I thought about my lover and how he must be doing right now. I just started a fight for no reason and now he might wind up hating me! I screwed up because all of the pain I've been having and forced to get more of... it just kept building up and then I exploded in the wrong way on the wrong person.

Dammit.


	11. Chapter 11

**By the way I have a Deviantart account in case you want to check up on me. My journals will have news on my fanfics in case you're interested. You can look up Santa Made A Mistake This Year and the first story you see will have been done by me. My username is Whatamitoyou**

Axel forgave me. He let me back into his room and told me that the dryer works, he had tried some of his older clothes and discovered that he doesn't need to flay Demyx alive. It made me smile… bitterly and then apologize for what I said. Apparently at some point I apologized too much because he quit trying to be comforting about it. He just told me to shut up and then went on to reading reports about the heartless and Kingdom Hearts.

Xemnas still doesn't know I've been staying here and we're both still trying to keep it that way. I was a bit surprised since he's been in such a foul mood for good reason. I thought he'd betray me, I was practically sure that he would and yet… and yet he hasn't. I'm still here by his side as though nothing happened, nothing at all.

This made my brain hurt. I betrayed him in such a cruel way and yet he forgives me, it's probably because he thinks of me as Roxas. I lay down on his bed as he continued to read on and on and on. I think he's just trying to avoid me and its working. After a while I sat up and tried not to make too much noise as I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

I look a lot like Roxas now. My hair is doing the same little spikes his had done, but then again that might just be bed head. A part of me was offended by that but I ignored it. I don't care about Roxas, he's the loser and I'm the winner. I don't have time to focus on someone as insignificant as him when my prize is unhappy. I just need to keep focusing on the prize, that's all I need to do at this point.

I smiled to myself thinking of all the times we've spent together. We've been a couple for around six months or so? I'm not sure… I keep losing track of the dates when I'm with him. Besides I'm a hero. I don't _need_ to know the date. All I need to know is if he still loves me or if I've outstayed my welcome. I don't think I'd be able to leave even if I did. That's what hurts the most at this point. He's the most important person to me but I'm almost for sure that he doesn't feel the same way… it's ridiculous.

Walking out of the bathroom I was shocked when I bumped into the redhead. He looked down at me with serious eyes and in a matter of seconds my clothes were off and we were on the bed. He seemed… different but to me, Axel is always Axel. No matter what he's doing or what seems to be going on in his head… he's just always there for me doing what he wants to do while I go along with it if I can.

I smirked and let him do what he wanted knowing this is exactly what Roxas hates most. I won. There are no ands ifs or buts about it. I've completely and totally won and that's going to kill him. Axel is having sex with me, he eats ice cream with me, and he calls me. There's nothing to say about Roxas since he's dead and gone. Who cares?

We moved with each other and did everything he always does along with a bit more… and then just when I was about to say his name… Axel said something a bit different. He said Roxas. Is this the second or the first time? It doesn't matter though because the mood's gone. He ruined it. The redhead kept moving along and I doubt he even noticed… but I did. Jealousy is the color green. There's no doubt about it. Swirls of happiness that makes up the color yellow along with the dark cruelty of blue and when you put it together it brings the envy of happiness and inability to release it and make yourself whole again until you've made sure to grasp what you want tightly before it flies away.

I can't grab Axel though. I can't hold him to me, I can't tell him I love him, I can't even look at him properly. All I can do is just sit there and watch as he does what he wants. The man can't be tied down to anyone… or at least he can't be tied down to me. What am I anyway; a hero of light?

"Are you still sorry about before?" Axel asked with a light smirk on his face, he held me tightly then pinched my chin and moved my face towards him. "It's alright, I forgive you." He whispered softly then kissed me. I couldn't feel anything in the kiss just like in all of his touches. I used to always think that if I could just have him touch me or hold me then my life would be complete…

But that's not possible.

Not with him.

His touches are cold and distant, they lack feeling and emotion. It's like its filled with the sense of loss and pain that are far beyond his years… always waiting for the end of this charade and the beginning of his real life. Why is he playing a part anyway? Is that what we're all doing?

Closing my eyes I turned away and tried to keep my heart… full. But it's been sinking and dying ever since Roxas was placed inside of me. In order for me to live I had to die.

I sighed and hugged him close knowing I might as well just forget all this crap that's filling up my brain for now. What's the point anyway? It's not like it'll change anything just yet. The world is constantly changing and yet everything stays the same. I should probably stop all this shit right now and just admit that Roxas won. He always wins. Even if the situation changed and I appear to be the winner… it's not true.

"Let's just forget about yesterday and focus on today." I murmured softly and looked up at him hoping he'd listen to me for once and do this one favor for someone like me. Let's just make this day impossibly good even if it means that I'll have to feel like he's just pretending to love me, even if his motions are robotic. He's the kind of guy that makes me want to live a little longer just so that I can die.

We did another round and then another… and then when we were both panting from all the sex, we had more. It was like we couldn't stop ourselves. Nothing mattered except how many times we could do it and soon my thoughts stopped and I was his, completely and totally his. Everything I'd ever wanted, and all that I needed was as good as dead because I'm in his arms. There's nothing better than that.

A soft whimper escaped my lips making him bend down and kiss me. Oddly enough it was the first time we'd kissed during all of this. It was soft and warm… with just the right amount of emotion to make me think that he loves me. My stomach filled with hot liquid and my mind became fuzzy. All I could do was move with him.

When we were done… I was fast asleep thinking about how he said Roxas instead of my name. The anger, jealousy, and hurt was there but I didn't let it take over. Instead I just smirked to myself and allowed my dreams to be happy with the knowledge that I'm here. I'm not dead. As long as I get a little piece of happiness then I know I've done good. This is right after all. There is nothing wrong with what I've done here.

I'm just with the person I destroyed everything to be with.

It's only natural I'd be here… When I woke up I walked to the bathroom quickly and put cold water over my head. "I'm in denial. Whenever I get close to really seeing the truth I immediately go into denial and try to forget all about it." I murmured softly then did my best to shut up and allow the cold water to cool my heating head down. Something's wrong with me, something is seriously wrong with me. There's no doubt about it.

I walked back into the room and crawled into bed, making his arms immediately wrap around me. I smiled softly at the touch but I could tell that the smile itself was fake. Dammit… how long am I going to be doing this for anyway? I guess I'll stay as long as he'll let me and when I get thrown away that'll be the end of it. No more me… no more life… no more Sora. I guess that's what's going to happen. I'll allow it to happen if only because I need it.

My eyes softened slightly as I slowly closed them and began to relax. It's time to sleep and quit complaining about the future. I'm fine now and that's what I should think about. When Axel was asleep again I got up and walked over to the phone. Without looking at the clock I called Riku. It's a stupid thing to do in this situation since everyone knows he'd probably storm this mansion looking for me. It'd be cruel since I'll never be with him but it would help in ways that Axel can't.

Only someone who cares about me can relieve the tension. Riku picked up and said a groggy hello. "Hey Riku it's me… Sora. Sorry for calling so late, if you want I'll hang up and you can call me later. That's fine, although I think I need you right now. Again… I'm sorry about this." I said softly feeling my voice begin to choke up. I shouldn't be crying over something as stupid as this.

"No it's fine! Are you okay? Hurt? Do you need me to come over? Is there a fight? Are you okay? What can I do?" He asked quickly sounding urgent and worried. I found myself smiling at this as tears poured down my face. I hadn't expected him to care. I really hadn't. I've become so used to Axel not caring… this is why I need to go back to my friends. He breaks my heart, I see my friends, they give it a quick stitch job before I force my way out and then… it breaks again. A never ending cycle I really have no intention of stopping.

"You are such an idiot." I laughed, forcing it out of me from somewhere in my memories. "I'm fine I just needed to call you and hear your voice. Oh gosh… now you've got me sounding cheesy. Look, you're killing me. Totally and completely killing me." I said with a sigh pretending to be disappointed and upset with him. He quickly caught on to the joke and started to laugh. It was like a warm hug after being stuck in a freezer for years.

"I'm glad you're okay." He smirked making me feel a bit happier than before.

"I am too… and oddly enough it's because of you." I said honestly and ran a hand through my hair. I noticed Axel starting to stir making my eyes widen for a moment. "I need to go soon… Axel's waking up. It was nice talking to you though."

"Same here… I really love you Sora."

I hung up.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys... sorry for being incredibly slow. During the break I wasn't in the mood to update and since I've gotten back I started to rewrite my novel 'No Regrets' since I'm making myself finish it by April 8th... I hope to update a tad more often. **

**Wow suddenly switched to third person on this story  
**

It was raining outside and that made Sora smile softly to himself remembering all the different competitions he'd have with Riku while out in the rain. There's so much they would do together but lately they don't do much of anything. It's almost as though they aren't even friends anymore. They had competitions for when it was sunny and when they were in the water. They had competitions for when Kairi was there and for when she wasn't... and they had competitions for the rain.

In the rain Sora would twirl in circles for as long as he could while having his mouth wide open while rain slid inside. It was his favorite thing to do on these cloudy wet days and something that he'd do quite often. Riku would just watch and shake his head but the silver haired boy always smiled, liking the sight of the other being so carefree and happy. On rainy days these two would be harder on each other than ever before, doing all of their competitions but only in the rain so if it ever stopped then they'd wait until it rained again to continue.

Today the rain was falling down swiftly, little droplets of rain looking like constant lines that break every once in a while. He couldn't help but stare at it all knowing that they won't be doing their competitions today. He glanced over at Axel who was covering his head with a pillow to keep out the noise of the rain, obviously he hates it even though it's something Sora treasures. "Why can't the rain just end... I hate it so much! It's just some disgusting liquid falling to the ground and ruining things that were once good and flammable!" He complained and then sighed once again causing the brunette to smile lightly.

"If it didn't rain... wood would die, grass would die, you and me... we'd die too." He said softly and moved over to where his whiny boyfriend was. Lying down beside him the boy couldn't help but smile, as he slowly removed the pillow. It was no use though since Axel then covered it with his hands and growled a bit which made Sora pause for a second before frowning and turning away back towards the rain. Some of his best memories were in those moments where water falls from the sky like a miracle. It pissed him off that Axel didn't feel the same. Granted, he could understand the other's reasoning and it made sense and all but still... how could someone _not_ like rain?

"Why won't it shut up? Even your voice is starting to sound like it too." He grumbled making the brunette stop with wide frozen eyes before narrowing them and getting up in one swift motion.

"You are such an ass! My best memories are out in the rain! I'm just trying to get you to see some good things about it and yet you pretty much just said 'your voice sounds like that thing I hate' do you really think that's a turn on?" Sora demanded as he glared even harder at his lover. Axel moved the pillow from his head and sat up, just staring at the brunette, not saying a word. The boy took a step back, unsure of what to do because of the sudden change. He expected Axel not to care... so when he suddenly looked over at him, well that not _not_ caring is it?

"What's so good about the rain?" He asked softly and then made himself comfortable in case the story was longer than he'd expected. Sora smiled softly then and began to explain the competitions he'd have with Riku and all the games they had for only when it rained. There was stuff they did with the sand, things they did in the cave, and even the ocean which was probably stupid. But Sora explained it all with that soft dazed smile on his face as his eyes showed Axel that he was in a different world as he spoke. He was back on Destiny Islands.

"Sounds fun... if we're in Destiny Islands but we're not." Axel said a little grumpily but it made Sora happy. That meant that he liked it... even if it was just in specific areas! His boyfriend still likes the rain because of him! Taking his hand he pulled him to his feet and grinned before turning around and running out the door, still holding onto his lover. The redhead followed reluctantly but was curious as to what the little idiot would do. When they were outside in the rain Sora pulled Axel in close and kissed him deeply on the lips. They both kissed even deeper and deeper, holding onto the other tightly.

"I think I just might like the rain a little bit more now." He smirked and then kissed his lover once more. It was sweet, everything about this was sweet and romantic, and none of it was what they usually do. Axel does or says something that makes Sora think he's thinking about Roxas and then... they both go into separate worlds creating something unhealthy and cruel.

Walking inside they held each others hand and seemed to grow peaceful from the simple action. Once they were in the room once again, Sora didn't think about the rain anymore even though it seemed to be pounding louder and louder outside. Instead he just stared at their hands and felt himself smile softly. Their hands fit so perfectly, and even curl around each others in unison which is unbelievable to the brunette. So soft and warm... before he could help himself he was kissing Axel and he felt himself beginning to grow weak. He wasn't growing weak over some stupid romantic crap... no, he was going weak because he doesn't make the first move. He usually doesn't and yet all this rain... it's making him do things he's never done before.

Instantly Axel began to strip off their clothing and soon they were having sex once again. Today it felt real unlike all those other times, because today it seemed like Axel was really looking at Sora and Sora alone. No one else was here in this room or in their thoughts. Instead it was just the two of them and they could do whatever they wanted. "You are so _different_ today." Axel murmured but he had a sly smile on his face showing his lover that he enjoyed this sudden change.

"Being the same everyday gets boring, doesn't it?" Sora asked with a laugh and then suddenly stopped remembering what he did the night before. His eyes widened and he was soon taking in deep breaths trying to calm himself down. He shouldn't have called Riku. He should have called Leon, Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Kairi, anyone but Riku. Instead he called the man who loved him and talked for not even a minute before being forced to hang up because of something the other said... he even hid it from Axel!

"Are you okay?" Axel asked and kissed Sora's neck looking a bit concerned. He looked up at the redhead and then hugged him tightly, moving around so that he was on top. Sora was blushing like crazy but other than giving away candy, he had no idea on how to make something up to a person... so he decided to try to pleasure his lover instead of just offering candy. There's no way he'll ever tell Axel what he did but still... he needs to do something to make up for it or go insane.

It was obvious after a while that his plan was working and if Axel's moans and the way that he clawed the brunette's hair were any consolation... well this was something that the redhead would want a bit more often, that's for sure. Sora looked up and smiled softly but his guilt was still there and he's supposed to be seeing his friends soon anyway. Once he was done topping his partner he sat up and looked at the man with a serious look on his face.

"I'm not going to see my friends this visit, instead I want to show you Destiny Islands." He said seriously and looked at Axel with worried eyes, not sure whether or not the other would go for it. Axel nodded with a huge grin on his face before sitting up and going to his closet. Grabbing a couple bags he filled one with several explosive looking equipment and lighters along with a few matches before finally putting some clothes into it."So you're coming?" Sora asked curiously.

"No... I'm just packing all of my fireworks and lighters because I'm bored." He informed his lover sarcastically making the brunette laugh lightly then closed his eyes as he laid back on the bed. He was getting tired from all that they've done and he knew it wouldn't be long before he passed out. "You tired? Sleep for a while and I'll wake you up later so that we can get something to eat." The redhead said softly then walked over and kissed his boyfriend on the forehead.

Sora had dreams but they were vague and seemed to keep him on edge the whole time. He just kept telling someone that he's about to fall asleep so they can't talk... he just can't talk since he's about to fall asleep and as soon as he fell asleep that's when Sora's eyes opened and he saw a bored redhead playing with his lighter but burning pieces of the brunette's hair. "What are you doing?" He demanded and pulled away from his lover in shock.

"I got bored and I'm hungry. Are you ready to go get food?" Axel asked in a bored voice but the playfulness in his eyes showed that he understood what he did wrong and didn't care as long as he got to see Sora's reaction. The boy sighed and sat up before tossing on some clothes and heading out the door toward the eating area with Axel just a few steps behind him. Sometimes the keyblade wielder wondered how long it would be before someone discovered that he was here the whole time. It seemed ridiculous that he's been here for almost a year and yet no one in the organization but Demyx knows about it. The blond could care less though, he would have told his lover but the man died...

Do Nobodies really not have hearts?

You'd think that Demyx would care about his lost lover but instead he didn't, he just went through the motions of being Demyx... not seeming to care enough to make a sudden change or feel anything different. It's horrible but not unexpected from someone without a heart. Axel has a heart though... he has to! He mourned for Roxas- wait. He didn't. The day before Roxas was going to die he visited Sora and no one else. He didn't think about his lover and instead he thought about the brunette.

Does he only want Sora because he's still breathing?

The brunette sighed and ran a hand through his hair before hugging Axel tightly to him. He wasn't going to allow himself to think of such thoughts. If he did then this is wrong, everything about them is wrong. He can't handle that knowledge yet.


	13. Chapter 13

"You look good like that." Axel grinned as Sora stood in front of him in Roxas's clothes. It looked good, just as he said, because the clothes fit him. It was as though they were made especially for him. Sora twirled in a circle to show them off further but Axel stopped him looking a bit… _disappointed_. "Just don't do that, try to be a little mature okay?" Axel was smirking but the words hit home for Sora. He felt like he should be remembering something important but for the life of him he couldn't remember what.

"Where is Namine?" Sora asked suddenly making Axel stiffen from where he stood. It was as though he was guilty for something but Sora couldn't see what could possibly make him feel that way. This is perfect! These clothes fit and spinning really is a childish thing to do, they can be a real couple after this!

"Let's not talk about Namine, okay Sora?" He asked looking a little worn before ruffling his boyfriend's brown hair. He couldn't bring himself to want to change that, because if he changed the color and style then he would be killing him completely. Stripping Sora of all that he has… was good enough.

Yesterday Axel tapped into Kairi's hidden powers and made her erase Sora's existence. Sure, it's there enough for him to go by his name but other than that… its mainly Roxas here now. The oblivious Roxas that Axel first met, because for the life of him he just couldn't do it. Axel couldn't live his life without his best friend by his side and Sora failed. He wasn't as good as Roxas is, he never could be that good no matter how hard he tried. So Axel destroyed him.

If Roxas were here… he may not like what Axel did to save him, but sometimes you just don't give a damn anymore. "Do you want to get some sea salt ice cream?" Axel asked softly making Sora nod with a wide grin. He took a note to remind Sora that his smiles need to be a bit softer and not as brilliant.

"Sea salt ice cream is my favorite!" He grinned even wider and took hold of Axel's hand to drag him to the cafeteria. This is more like Roxas. Nothing can stop him when he wants ice cream but he's considerate enough to want to bring me along with him. This is something that hasn't changed. Axel should be happy.

When they got to the cafeteria, Axel could only think about Sora's warm hand and the way he was looking at him with those big trusting blue eyes as though this is what makes his world complete, these little moments with the two of us.

It made him happy that things could be going this smoothly with a simple trick. Sora won't be leaving the castle any longer and his friends won't miss him or think of him for long, they will all forget because the memories are painful, and in any case he is leaving anyway so it doesn't matter. Sora is gone and there is nothing anyone can do to bring him back.

"Here, you get the first bite!" He offered making Axel smirk before biting down on the ice cream Sora was holding attentively in his outstretched hand. Axel licked his lips and the areas surrounding it to make sure his face was clean as he grinned at the young boy in front of him.

Destroying one person to bring back another isn't bad. It's just a new way for solving a problem, or maybe it's a very old way that has lost its value over time. People don't seem to notice that not everything good is good and not everything bad is bad. It's a paradox, and Axel knows this. Roxas doesn't deserve life more than Sora, he's just needed more than Sora. After all… all of Sora's friends have forgotten him at one point in time, they can do it again.

For Roxas… everyone did not forget. Only some people did and they were created to be his friends anyway, it wasn't like they were his real friends like Xion and Axel. No, so in return, Roxas deserves life more. Axel ignored the fact that he contradicted himself and instead began to focus on how Sora was sitting like Roxas does and how his head was lowered a bit. It was cute, how close they are. Maybe over time there won't be much of a difference, only the hair. They're bodies are exactly the same after all.

Sitting down across from him, Axel wrapped his legs around Sora's and took hold of his ice cream stick to begin eating. Sora hasn't touched his yet, he was too busy watching Axel as his mouth slid along the blue ice cream and the way his tongue poked out whenever Axel was feeling particularly devious. Finally, Sora gulped and turned to his ice cream and took a bite.

What happened next shocked them both.

"This… this ice cream must be bad…" Sora whimpered, tears forming in his eyes as he began to tremble. Axel's eyes widened in shock but he just watched Sora as the boy began to cry. "Because there's no way… there's no way I wouldn't like it. I'm _supposed_ to _like_ it. I've _always_ liked it." He cried and threw the ice cream to the ground.

Axel watched and felt tears rise to his own eyes. No… this could never work. Sora collapsed onto the ground and cried, his eyes trying to focus on his fingers wondering how the hell this happened.

How the hell a part of Roxas gained control.

The true Sora was buried deep within him now, crying and screaming even louder and harder than his body ever could. He knew what happened and he wanted out. He wanted out more than anyone could ever know and at this rate no one ever will know.

"I told you so." He whispered to himself.

**Fin.**

**To be honest I got tired of this story... because I didn't know the ending just yet and I was grounded for so long... I went ahead and gave it the ending I had considered to spare everyone a load of complete crap I could have come up with otherwise.**


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